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Writing Samples
Band 7

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the era of health
care
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 advancements,
families
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 have to
care
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 for maximum elderly
people
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. In
this
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 essay, I will highlight how societies will be able to manage the increase in the proportion of old age
people
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 today and solutions for resolving these issues. Personally, I feel communities won't be able to cope with the
increase
Replace the word
increasing
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number of elderly
people
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.
To begin
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 with, there are several factors that show
families
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 are unable to take
care
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 of maximum elderly
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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.
First
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 and foremost,
people
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 are busy with their work-life
thus
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, they are not able to manage them properly.
Moreover
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,
families
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 with small kids find it difficult to manage old age
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 as these peoples require more attention and
care
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 at home.
For example
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, one of my relatives who is working for a U.S insurance company is unable to take proper
care
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 of his old age
parents
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 because of the working schedule between the two countries.
However
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, there is a saying "where there is a will there is a way".
In addition
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, these problems can be resolved by hiring one health
care
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 staff for their older
parents
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 who can take proper
care
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 of them in their absence. Significantly,
families
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also
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 should take time for elderly
people
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 and respect them as they have
been cared
Change to the active voice
cared
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during
Change preposition
for during
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 their childhood as children at home get influenced by their
parents
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.
Therefore
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, they should eliminate the intergenerational communication gap.
Such
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 as, In a recent survey of Times Of India juveniles treats their
parents
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 as their
parents
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 manage their old
parents
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 as they get influenced by their
parents
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. In conclusion, It is hard to manage elderly
people
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 as they need more attention and time but it is our responsibility to take proper
care
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 of them as upbringings matters a lot in individuals nature. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 societies won't be able to manage elderly
people
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 properly because of their professional work culture.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • strain
  • healthcare systems
  • pensions
  • social services
  • technological advancements
  • telemedicine
  • health-monitoring devices
  • community-based support
  • government policies
  • proactive measures
  • retirement age
  • pension reform
  • intergenerational cooperation
  • mental and emotional well-being
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