IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think eveyone should be vegetarian, because we do not need to eat meat to have a heath diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #eveyone #meat #heath #diet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people stated values their
health
Use synonyms
 and argue that a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 could replace a
meat
Use synonyms
diet
Use synonyms
. So we should be vegetarian in order to be healthier. From my perspective, whether vegetarian or
meat
Use synonyms
diet
Use synonyms
 both have benefits to our
health
Use synonyms
. It’s no doubt that a plant-based
diet
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as mixed fruits, nuts and vegetables benefits our
health
Use synonyms
. That food provides various elements,
such
Linking Words
 as vitamins, minerals and antioxidants which strengthen our
body
Use synonyms
’s function. In some research points out that vegetarian is less likely to suffer from heart disease and cardiovascular disease
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because those foods are able to help to reduce blood pressure and maintain a stable blood sugar level.
As a result
Linking Words
, life expectancy is to be extended as possible due to the healthy condition.
However
Linking Words
, the
meat
Use synonyms
diet
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 provides necessary nutrition to our
body
Use synonyms
, strengthening the muscle. Specifically, bodybuilders in order to build muscle, prefer a high protein
diet
Use synonyms
, and the protein resource comes from meats
such
Linking Words
 as beef, chicken and pork. Not only the protein they are required but
also
Linking Words
 the element which is hard to intake from vegetables, including zinc, vitaminB12 and amino acid.
Although
Linking Words
meat
Use synonyms
 is the main food resource in our daily, the sodium and saturated fat it contains could lead us to suffer from a high risk of
health
Use synonyms
 problems. Overall. The vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 is able to provide a wide range of nutrients for our
body
Use synonyms
, but some of the necessary elements only come from meats. So we should either balance our daily
diet
Use synonyms
 avoiding
meat
Use synonyms
 as the only nutrition resource for our
body
Use synonyms
 or become a vegetarian to have a healthy
body
Use synonyms
 condition.
Submitted by kevinchiua on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: