IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With an increasing overweight population some people think university should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses.

As the percentage of obesity has increased rapidly these days, some people think that academic institutions should make
sport
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 a compulsory module on all degree courses. In
this
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 essay, reasons
on
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apply
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why participating in
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
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 should be compulsory at the
universities
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 will be discussed.
First
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 of all, nowadays, most young people use mobile phones all the time and do less physical
activities
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. They hardly ever go out and communicate with their friends through mobile phones.
As a result
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, they become overweight and have other health problems. Another reason why the
universities
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 should have a compulsory
sport
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 class is that by taking part in
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
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,
students
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 will have a chance to meet other people with different cultural backgrounds and traditions.
As a result
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, they will become healthier as well as their communication and social skills, and
teamworks
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teamwork
 will
also
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 be improved.
Furthermore
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, having a compulsory
sport
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 class at the
universities
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 will
also
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 bring some benefits to the parents and relatives of the
students
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. Most parents or close relatives of the
students
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 often tend to accompany their children if there is a
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 tournament or
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activity held at the
universities
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.
As a result
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, they will become more interested in physical
activities
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 and sometimes they would even do or practice physical
activities
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 together with their children at home, which would make them fitter and healthier. To conclude, the
universities
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 should make the
sport
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 a compulsory module on all degree courses because it will bring benefits to the
students
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 as well as their parents or relatives.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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