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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

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Technology has changed the way people interact. It affects the types of relationships that they make because of the constant connectivity and the diversity of people they can speak with. I think that it is a negative thing because it reduces social skills and makes contact very superficial. Nowadays, the population is always connected by the Internet,
this
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 is to say, technology.
As a consequence
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 of
this
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, individuals can exchange messages for a long period of time, wherever they want and whenever they want, formerly,
this
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 was not possible.
In addition
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, they are able to speak with people from all around the world and the message arrives instantly despite the distance between these two individuals.
For example
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, a study from the University of South Carolina found that 80% of long-distance relationships are maintained thanks to
this
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 instant exchange of messages. Which is one of the first problems when it comes to relationships. Even if the manner of interaction between human beings has evolved, it is not a positive thing. In fact, it reduces your social skills, when you talk behind a screen, you do not know the
person
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's reaction, so you are less shy.
This
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 makes it much harder to say things in
person
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it makes the contact very superficial, speaking things face to face makes you understand the other
person
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 more and allows you to deepen the conversation.
For instance
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, a renowned psychologist named Mitch Martin, states that 75% of humans are used to speaking using technology, and later it becomes more difficult for them to interact with others. One immediate practical solution is to leave your phone at home and
foce
Correct your spelling
force
face
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
yourself
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 to be more interactive
by
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in
show examples
person
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.
To conclude
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, computers have made our interactions as humans evolve and change in different manners,
nevertheless
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, it is not always a positive evolution.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could provide a more comprehensive overview of your main points. Consider briefly outlining what specific aspects you will discuss regarding technology's impact.
coherence and cohesion
The flow of ideas could be improved by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your paragraphs. This would help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
While you provide some valid examples, consider adding more diverse and relevant examples to strengthen your points. This can make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
You effectively identify both a consequence of technology on relationships and present a clear personal perspective on its negativity, which adds depth to your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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