Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #relationships #development

It is argued that thanks to the development of technology, it is now easy to reach anyone in the world. The internet has allowed us to build relationships with people regardless of their location. In my opinion, technology has many benefits, still, the presence of someone dear to us is incomparable to a virtual meeting. On the one hand, the internet has no boundaries, allowing individuals to communicate with anyone, anywhere, and share updates instantly. Using those technological ways expands one's ability to connect with people from all over the world, eliminating concerns about losing touch or lack of trust, especially with family members who live far away.

For example

, I can keep talking with my

friend

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friends

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in Canada without physically travelling, saving me a lot of money and effort to go meet them.

On the other hand

, the numerical progress has negatively impacted our relations with others. Indeed, physical presence is quite important. By relying

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too

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much on means of communication

such

Whathsapp

Correct your spelling

, we have deteriorated our relationships with others. When talking through messages, what someone means to say can seem much colder, creating the inversed effect desired.

For example

, I have many fights with my sister who lives in Liverpool. Most of the time, the reason we end up fighting is because what we meant to say was misunderstood. Rebuilding the trust

tafterwards

Correct your spelling

after

a lot of time

that

Correct word choice

apply

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all started because of communication through technology. In conclusion, I personally think that technological developments have helped

staying

Wrong verb form

people stay

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close to people. Still, communication means are not able to

transcript

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transcribe

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the true meaning of a message,

thus

damaging the relationships that we have.

Submitted by santos_dij on Fri Jul 14 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which is commendable. However, ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, without introducing new information. This will further enhance the clarity and significance of your arguments.

logical structure

Ensure the logical structure of your essay is well-maintained throughout by using cohesive devices effectively. The paragraphs should flow naturally from one to the other, and it's advisable to include topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph for better clarity.

supported main points

While you have provided examples to support your main points, they should be more varied and detailed. This includes incorporating statistics, personal anecdotes, expert opinions, or historical examples where relevant which will strengthen your argument.

complete response

Your response answers the question in a complete manner, addressing both the positive and negative impacts of technology on relationships. However, further exploration of the subtleties and nuances of the impacts could provide a more thorough treatment of the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas presented are quite clear, but would benefit from deeper analysis and more comprehensive reasoning. Aim to explore the complexities of the topic by presenting contrasting views and providing a balanced argument. Each point should relate back to the central topic of the essay.

relevant specific examples

Your specific examples are relevant, but ensure they are explicitly linked to the question prompt. The examples should be directly related to the way technology affects relationships to ensure clarity and relevance. Additionally, you could consider a broader range of examples to illustrate your points more convincingly.

Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Interact
Social media platforms
Networking
Instant messaging
Face-to-face interaction
Misunderstandings
Emotional context
Superficial connections
Deceptive identities
Privacy concerns
Social skills
Video calls
Online presence
Digital communication
Cyber relationships

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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The rise of social media had affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?