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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given three pie charts depict the proportion of three nutrients consumed by people in the USA in all typical
meals
Use synonyms
 throughout the day.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that sodium, saturated fat and
sugar
Use synonyms
 are taken in less quantity during breakfast,
whereas
Linking Words
 they are taken in much larger quantities at
dinner
Use synonyms
comparative
Replace the word
compared
show examples
 to
lunch
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first chart shows the average quantity of rock salt taken by the people of the USA during their
meals
Use synonyms
 of the day.
Dinner
Use synonyms
 contains the highest ratio of sodium (43%),
while
Linking Words
 29% of it is eaten
while
Linking Words
 having
lunch
Use synonyms
. Breakfast and
snacks
Use synonyms
 hold an equal proportion of rock salt, which is 14% each. The
second
Linking Words
 chart details the percentages of saturated fats in
meals
Use synonyms
. At
dinner
Use synonyms
 time, Americans consume 37% of it, being
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest among all meal types.
Lunch
Use synonyms
 contributes to a consumption of 26% of it, followed by
snacks
Use synonyms
 with 21% and the remaining
snacks
Use synonyms
 with 16%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 chart illustrates the proportion of
sugar
Use synonyms
 taken by Americans during all
meals
Use synonyms
.
Snacks
Use synonyms
 contain the highest figure of it, 42%. A typical
dinner
Use synonyms
 consists of 23% of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in it, followed by
lunch
Use synonyms
 with 19% and
lastly
Linking Words
 breakfast has the least amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
 accounting for only 16%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words meals, sugar, dinner, lunch, snacks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average percentages
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • meal
  • typical meals
  • categories
  • high percentage
  • distribution
  • patterns
  • trends
  • nutrient-dense
  • data
  • comparison
  • summarize
  • reporting main features
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