Q. Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#q #people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

Some believe the symbol of

success

is personal wealth and richness, while in other opinions,

people

making a

society

develop

such

as inventors and scholars win more

success

. Even though

money

can bring about individual pleasure and comfort, I believe it is more successful that achievement for the

society

makes the result of historical development and the prosperity of countries. There is no answer to

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

successful in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

life. Every person has

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

each standard of

success

, which they achieving individual happiness can have successful

lives

or they should go on to greater accomplishments for their

honor

Change the spelling

honour

show examples

. Admittedly,

money

must be the essential condition to gain daily happiness as there are many

people

to suffer from

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

poverty in the world, and it can

also

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

the root of

success

For instance

, if

people

win a large amount of wealth, they can have more stable and enjoyable

lives

to spend

money

on even

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with others as well as all they want. Many others would like to seek their wealthy

lives

Thus

, it can be said

money

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enough successful factor to afford those

lives

Nevertheless

people

working for their

society

can be more successful since it is worth achieving their goals and

honor

Change the spelling

honour

show examples

. It is more difficult to get over a great achievement than simply

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

money

Furthermore

, if one’s research or contribution is effective to

society

money

would automatically follow them as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success

makes the

society

develop and prosper more. Unfortunately, many rich

people

have the lack of achieving through effort, attaining all they want easily by

money

, while

people

succeeding by their passion cannot only get their wealth and

honor

Change the spelling

honour

show examples

, they

also

can feel a

fully

Change the adverb

full

show examples

sense of accomplishment. Their

success

would

affects

Change the verb form

affect

show examples

history due to their successful result of

contribution

Add an article

the contribution

show examples

. For these reasons,

people

contributing to

society

would be more successful for both their countries and themselves. In conclusion,

individual

Add an article

the individual

show examples

richness can lead to successful

lives

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

the wealthy can receive all of personal entertainment.

On the other hand

, in my opinion, it is the authentic

success

to win

people

’ achievement by their effort, contributing to

society

Submitted by shoep11 on Sat Dec 11 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Q. Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while other believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion

Some people think technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful to the studying process. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

"writing_prompt":"Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?",

. In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?