Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals

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Some people argue that
zoos
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are harmful and should no longer exist while others say that
zoos
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are safe places for wild lives.
Animals
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might be treated badly, surrounded with awful environments, and even worse there might be animal
abuse
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at the
zoos
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, while in some cases
zoos
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are safe places for many species because
zoos
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can protect them from any dangers, safe from extinction, and
also
Linking Words

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close to vet. I believe that the problem of poor environment and animal
abuse
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
zoos
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should be solved to give
animals
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a better life.
Animals
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might be treated badly, surrounded
with
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
awful environments, and even worse there might be animal
abuse
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at the zoo,
First
Linking Words

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of all, many wild lives at
zoos
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are not being treated well, and some of them are forced to live in limited space.
In addition
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, some of them may look underweight because they are not well fed as well as they should.
For instance
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, some
animals
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did not feed for a week which made them sick and hungry from not having anything in their stomach.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
zoos
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provide small areas for wild lives, which could lead to many mental and physical health problems
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as depression and being inactive.
In contrast
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some advantages for
animals
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that live in the wildlife park are safety and lowering extinction rates. Since the zoo is a public place, any situation that would be dangerous for them will have a low opportunity to happen.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many zookeepers and staff watch over when
animals
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feel sick. They will get treated by the vet on time.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, since
zoos
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often separate species and do not have many of them in one area,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helps them to be safe from extinction that might have accidentally happened. In conclusion, there are more disadvantages than advantages for
animals
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that live most of their life in
zoos
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because of the tiny space
zoos
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provided, some places might take care of them badly, and animal
abuse
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often happens.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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