Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals

#people #zoos #animals

Some people argue that

zoos

are harmful and should no longer exist while others say that

zoos

are safe places for wild lives.

Animals

might be treated badly, surrounded with awful environments, and even worse there might be animal

abuse

at the

zoos

, while in some cases

zoos

are safe places for many species because

zoos

can protect them from any dangers, safe from extinction, and

also

close to vet. I believe that the problem of poor environment and animal

abuse

zoos

should be solved to give

animals

a better life.

Animals

might be treated badly, surrounded

with

Change preposition

show examples

awful environments, and even worse there might be animal

abuse

at the zoo,

First

of all, many wild lives at

zoos

are not being treated well, and some of them are forced to live in limited space.

In addition

, some of them may look underweight because they are not well fed as well as they should.

For instance

, some

animals

did not feed for a week which made them sick and hungry from not having anything in their stomach.

Also

, the

zoos

provide small areas for wild lives, which could lead to many mental and physical health problems

such

as depression and being inactive.

In contrast

, some advantages for

animals

that live in the wildlife park are safety and lowering extinction rates. Since the zoo is a public place, any situation that would be dangerous for them will have a low opportunity to happen.

Additionally

, many zookeepers and staff watch over when

animals

feel sick. They will get treated by the vet on time.

Lastly

, since

zoos

often separate species and do not have many of them in one area,

this

helps them to be safe from extinction that might have accidentally happened. In conclusion, there are more disadvantages than advantages for

animals

that live most of their life in

zoos

because of the tiny space

zoos

provided, some places might take care of them badly, and animal

abuse

often happens.

Submitted by v.chemnasiri on Sun Dec 12 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?