IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is quite right that top sports people should be paid a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#right #sports #people #money
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Remuneration to the top-ranked athletes should be high. I personally think that every level of sports players should get the accurate gift for their performance. If players get a good amount
then
Linking Words
 they get encouragement and get mental satisfaction to play more actively.
First
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 of all, If sportsmen get a sufficient amount for their effort even though they are on their initial stage of game carrier
then
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 they get the motivation to play hard and get a high score in their games.
For example
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, a study is published in the newspaper on the remuneration and sport carrier that study shows proves that the person who get the sufficient funds for their games or get good gifts they play for a long time in their whole life.
secondly
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, the money gives mental satisfaction to the player because they pay more attention to their game rather than to earning cash from different sources.
For instance
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, in an
interview
Add a comma
,interview
show examples
 the Olympic gold medalist said that
this
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 is his
second
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 attempt in the international games. He may be got the gold in his
first
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 attempt if he did not pay focus on the earned payment for his survival. If he got a good amount of salary only from his game they he may win two years ago. To conclude , the fund is very important for the players at every stage of their carrier.
Submitted by amit7613 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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