The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The question of whether the
media
should focus more on problems has sparked heated debate. Some argue that negative contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
are
harmful to individuals, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
while
others see that problems and emergencies are worth the public’s attention. My personal idea is the latter should be more emphasized because media
can actually provide in-time information
for disaster forecasting or prevention. In this
essay, I will elaborate more
detail and provide my personal opinions.
First of all, the Change preposition
in more
media
is an essential means to deliver messages that include both positive and negative information
. Although
the masses enjoy the optimistic news since this
makes them feel good, there are some non-negligible facts that needed
to be reckoned with. Wrong verb form
need
For instance
, in Taiwan, the media
always provide predicted routes and possibly influenced areas of a typhoon, in terms of preventing people from losing their lives or properties. In this
way, whenever citizens
receive such
information
, they can act accordingly
.
Furthermore
, the media
cannot merely provide the brightness of society and is reluctant to make
the public informed. It is a lawful citizen’s right to be informed Verb problem
keep
that
what actually occurred, Change preposition
of
for example
, a dictatorship always prevents its citizens
from knowing the truth. If there were some catastrophic events that occurred in such
a nation, citizens
may not have the right to know where are their families and the actual death
counted. Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
This
is why we need to appreciate our free media
in the nation of freedom, and well use such
rights to make this
world a better place.
In conclusion, it is crucial that citizens
are well-informed about all kinds of information
. Nevertheless
, some significant news is often seen as negative and detrimental to individuals. The reasons listed above show that some concerning information
can fundamentally impact society positively. As a result
, I advocate that the media
and the government should always keep citizens
informed of all major events.Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on
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coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is good overall, but there's room to improve. Try to focus on creating a clearer topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph and maintain this focus throughout. This will help guide your reader more effectively.
task achievement
You've clearly understood the prompt and have provided a complete response. However, try to ensure each viewpoint is fully developed before moving onto the next, as this will deepen your reader's understanding of your arguments.
lexical resource
The use of language is quite advanced and varied, with a broad lexicon and idiom. However, aim for more consistency in your level of formality to ensure a more cohesive tone throughout the essay.
grammatical range
Excellent range of complex sentence structures and grammar usage. Just a few minor errors, pay more attention to subject-verb agreement and some prepositions.