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Band 6.5

The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?

#job #money
Many
people
 tend to change their job often or making them qualified for their higher position due to a salary because of that it is undeniable that
money
 is one of the most essential
things
 in our life, everyone works for their salary to spend it for their happiness or their needs, even their job is not satisfied with them. The following paragraph will be discussing my agreement with
this
 statement.
Therefore
, the conclusion has been reached.
To begin
 with, I strongly agree with the statement because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 the present day, we need the
money
 to do everything even the thing that we think it not but it is still used in other ways
such
 as walking on footpaths we use the
money
 to pay taxes to authorities to build it.
In addition
,
money
 is evidence for humans to prove that they have abilities to do anything in
this
world
 and
money
 is a reason for many
people
 to be tolerant with their jobs and try to make themselves better at their jobs to earn more
money
.
Moreover
,
money
 is
also
 considered as one of the
things
 that classified
people
's classes in societies, because in the modern
world
,
this
world
 tends to be more capitalism
world
 than in the
last
 centuries that we can trade
things
 with
things
.
Lastly
,
money
 can provide happiness as the introduction has been said because we need
money
 to buy our interests. To summarise, I believe that the former and latter paragraphs are the strong reason to support my agreement with
this
 statement.
However
, there is always the thing that
money
 cannot buy
such
 as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 feeling of
people
 that we need to prove it by ourselves.
Submitted by satoshi.nmtd on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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