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It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#money #lifestyle #illness #treatment #people
A
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
lifestly
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 can bring us a joyful life, which a healthy person can live better than a
weathly
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wealthy
healthy
 person. Today we need to
disscuss
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discuss
this
 topic of where we should spend the money, on
a
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an
show examples
adverstiment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 how to improve our healthy life
,
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apply
show examples
 or to use
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 health
equiments
Correct your spelling
requirements
 for the
people
 who are already sick. I believe an
adverstiment
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advertisement
 will make
people
 aware of the sick
,
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apply
show examples
 as if we could see some useful ads on tv
everyday
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every day
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. In today society, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
busier
Add a missing verb
are busier
show examples
on
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at
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 work, which they don't have time to prepare dinner,
their
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there
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 will prefer to order
a fast food
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fast food
a portion of fast food
show examples
 or buy some per-make food. As we know all of
these food
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this food
show examples
 are unhealthy, if you eat once in a blue moon
that is
 fine, but over intake will make
people
 gain weight or have
Correct your spelling
high
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hight
Correct your spelling
high
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 cholesterol.
Therefore
, I think it is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 idea to spend some money on the newspaper or television to let
people
 know how to prevent
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 unhealthy lifestyle.
Moreover
, the community money can
also
 use to workout
equiments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 in
public
Add an article
a public
show examples
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
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, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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could help too.
On the other hand
, hospital
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
needs to have more
equiment
Correct your spelling
equipment
 for the
patiens
Correct your spelling
patients
patient
, as
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 today society, cancer is the most
serious
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seriously
show examples
ill
Replace the word
illnesses
show examples
,
also
 we have
covid-19
Add an article
a covid-19
the covid-19
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 virus, which
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 spreading very quick and we have no way to control at the moment. So that hospital or clinic needs to have more funds for the treatment or test kit. In conclusion, I agree public funds should be
using
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 on media to let
people
 understand, if you want to live longer, must have a healthy body.
Submitted by junechan822 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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