It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#money #lifestyle #illness #treatment #people

healty

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healthy

lifestly

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lifestyle

can bring us a joyful life, which a healthy person can live better than a

weathly

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wealthy

healthy

person. Today we need to

disscuss

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discuss

this

topic of where we should spend the money, on

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show examples

adverstiment

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for

show examples

how to improve our healthy life

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apply

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or to use

for

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it for

show examples

health

equiments

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requirements

for the

people

who are already sick. I believe an

adverstiment

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will make

people

aware of the sick

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apply

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as if we could see some useful ads on tv

everyday

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every day

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. In today society, most

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apply

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the

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apply

show examples

people

busier

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are busier

show examples

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show examples

work, which they don't have time to prepare dinner,

their

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there

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will prefer to order

a fast food

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fast food

a portion of fast food

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or buy some per-make food. As we know all of

these food

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this food

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are unhealthy, if you eat once in a blue moon

that is

fine, but over intake will make

people

gain weight or have

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high

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hight

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high

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cholesterol.

Therefore

, I think it is

good

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a good

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idea to spend some money on the newspaper or television to let

people

know how to prevent

the

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unhealthy lifestyle.

Moreover

, the community money can

also

use to workout

equiments

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equipment

public

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a public

show examples

park

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parks

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, which

this

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apply

show examples

could help too.

On the other hand

, hospital

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apply

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needs to have more

equiment

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equipment

for the

patiens

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patients

patient

, as

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show examples

today society, cancer is the most

serious

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seriously

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ill

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illnesses

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also

we have

covid-19

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a covid-19

the covid-19

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virus, which

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show examples

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show examples

spreading very quick and we have no way to control at the moment. So that hospital or clinic needs to have more funds for the treatment or test kit. In conclusion, I agree public funds should be

using

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used

show examples

on media to let

people

understand, if you want to live longer, must have a healthy body.

Submitted by junechan822 on Mon Dec 13 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
chronic diseases
healthcare costs
public health campaigns
lifestyle-related illnesses
quality of life
health-conscious society
allocate funds
balanced healthcare system
comprehensive healthcare strategy

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It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Subtleties of banking: understanding the interdependence of depositors and borrowers.

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All level of education, from primary to tertiary school should be free. To what extent do you agree or disagree?