IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required

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Encouraging
people
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 to do physical
activities
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 by creating numerous
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 facilities is being considered to raise
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 rate of
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a citizen
the citizen
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 by most
people
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.
However
Linking Words
, I believe there are other desirable measures
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be taken, as will now be discussed At the outset, I admit increased
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of sports possibilities involves
people
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to do
Change the verb form
doing
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 physical
activities
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 better than any other type of fascination which can aid to improve
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
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 healthiness. Since given opportunities for training
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sport
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sports
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activities
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 captivate more members of
community
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the community
show examples
 as it has been remaining for a long time by scientists.
Correct your spelling
In
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An
Correct your spelling
In
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 addition, having trained most
people
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 feel fit themselves and they tend to spend ample amount of time
for
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apply
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doing
sport
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activities
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On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many feasible remedies
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be taken in order to keep
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 healthy. Most dangerous habits,
for example
Linking Words
, smoking and getting used to
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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 lifestyle are influencing seriously
people
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's health. By severing the influx of any kind of
sigarettes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
cigarette
 to the country and inspiring public not only
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sport
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sports
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activities
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 but
also
Linking Words
 to do beneficial for their livelihood government can attain more fruitful targets In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 I agree
doing
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to do
show examples
 physical
activities
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 may be
good
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a good
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 measure,but I am convinced it can not be the best remedy

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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