Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary to live a long and healthy life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the present day, with the advance of urbanization and technology resulting in a fast-paced world, a plethora of people tend to spend much time
intaking
fast food and have a sedentary lifestyle. Verb problem
eating
This
combination can damage the lives of people. Consequently
, there are numerous health disorders. For
this
reason, I totally disagree with the assumption that says that exercise and diet
are not necessary. From my point of view, a healthy lifestyle can improve the quality of life
.
First and foremost, a balanced diet
, which is the perfect combination of a variety of nutrients, may promote not only a better physical condition but also
mental health. Moreover
, a fat diet
may cause damages
to many organs and systems. Fix the agreement mistake
damage
For instance
, according to
research published by Harvard University, obesity increases four times the risk of heart disease and also
three times the risk of infertility. The worst diet
, the
worst consequences for the body.
Add a missing verb
has the
Secondly
, when people are practising exercises they are in contact with others. In other words
, they are socializing. Thus
, exercises have a significant impact on the lives of ones
since they may reduce the presence of mental issues. Take a survey carried out by BBC as an example in which young individuals claim that when they have an opportunity to do outdoor activities they feel more confident, friendly and less depressive and anxious.
Correct your spelling
one
Finally
, a balanced diet
and exercise may promote advantages not only in personal life
but also
in work-
Correct your spelling
work life
life
. Whereas
healthy individuals have more creativity and productivity, the likelihood of absence in the
work related to unhealthy Correct article usage
apply
one
is much higher.
In conclusion, it is noticeable the positive sides of exercise and Fix the agreement mistake
ones
diet
so as to promote a better life
. Therefore
, this
healthy combination can promote a long life
for all types of individuals. In addition
, healthy ones are bound to happiness which can lead to influencing other ones and changing society.Submitted by larissafelipin on
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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively by presenting arguments in favor of the importance of a good diet and exercise for a long and healthy life. You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which enhances the clarity of your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. The progression of ideas is logical, and your points are supported with relevant examples. To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.