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Writing Samples
Band 6

When new towns are planned, it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centres #people #time
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When new cities are constructed, some argue that
parks
 and exercise equipment serve more crucial roles than supermarkets and malls.
Although
 shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 support the national economy, I strongly agree with
this
 statement due to the fact that public
parks
 and sports facilities can enhance general health physically and mentally. Regarding commercial complexes, they have several positive effects on governmental funds. Obviously, malls with a plethora of products can manipulate the shopping habit of individuals which can improve the product sales of companies.
Therefore
, there would be an increase in the income of entrepreneurs, who could provide the national economy with a large amount of money through taxes.
Hence
, malls are vital for governments to earn have bigger funds. Notwithstanding the obvious beneficial impacts of supermarkets and shopping centres, it is important to highlight that communal
parks
 and sports equipment are conducive the public health in both physical and mental terms.
Firstly
, the exercise facilities give
people
 a chance to practice on a daily basis without any fees, so they could boost individuals’ mobility and muscle. Without sports facilities,
people
 would need to significantly spend money to go to the gym which is unaffordable for most
people
, so they will feel inconvenient and unwilling to do physical activities.
In addition
,
parks
 with a host of trees and spectacular sceneries can give
people
 a chance to unwind after nerve-racking time and help them to combat the pressure from their own works or studies. Despite the malls’ benefit on governmental funds, I have a firm belief that
parks
 and exercise equipment are more important because they
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 both the physical and mental health of society.
Submitted by bachdatcuber on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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