Some people think that children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while others believe that adults should prevent them from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults

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As I have mentioned previously, in Colombia there are many courses or training which are related to ‘Public Health’.

Nevertheless

, there are no programs with a similar well-structured curriculum without offering core subjects with specializations to learn specific skills. It should be emphasized that the ‘Graduate Diploma

Public

Change preposition

in Public

show examples

Health’ is balanced among social and

behavioral

Change the spelling

behavioural

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factors, economic health characteristics, epidemiology, and health promotion.

Additionally

, they have specializations which appeal to me, especially the content related to ‘Digital Health and Informatics’

as well as

‘Health Policy and Advocacy’ because none of them are offered in my native country.

Although

the Colombian Government is searching

for applying

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to apply

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some technological and informatics techniques in the healthcare field, there are no programs available which offer the aforementioned content.

On the other hand

this

course lasts one year which fits perfectly with my mid-term goals.

This

means,

after

Correct word choice

that after

show examples

a one-year training program at Torrens University, I plan to return to my country to apply for my medical speciality training program in Internal Medicine between October and November in order to start it in 2026.

Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on Sun Aug 11 2024

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structuring

Your essay needs a clearer structure and focus. Make sure to address both sides of the argument about whether children should be allowed to make mistakes or if adults should prevent them. The current content seems unrelated to the topic provided.

task response

Make sure your ideas are fully developed and directly respond to the essay prompt. The examples and points should be directly relevant to discussing children and adults as mentioned in the topic.

content

The essay provides some interesting points about the unique aspects of the 'Graduate Diploma in Public Health' and how it fits with your career goals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

179 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

freedom to make mistakes
critical thinking skills
lifelong learning
guided learning environment
resilience
independence
overprotective
dependency
problem-solving skills
confidence
negative consequences
learning process
personal growth
trial and error
balance safety and learning
development
support and guidance
empowerment
risk-taking
life lessons

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Some people think that children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while others believe that adults should prevent them from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?

More and more people are now working remotely from home. Is this a positive or negative development?

An increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case, and what solutions are possible?

Some people believe school children should be given multiple vacations while others think they should get one long vacation. Discuss advantages for both and give your opinion.