It is better the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extend you agree or disagree?

University
life is one of the
phase
Change to a plural noun
phases
show examples
that
students
look forward to after completing high school. During the
university
days, some
students
choose to move out from the residence while some of them decide to stay back with their family. Moving out from their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
house is beneficial in certain ways. One of the reasons I agree with
that is
because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it allows them to be able to live independently. Once they are out there by themselves, they will learn how to manage
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
lot
of personal and
profesional
Correct your spelling
professional
matters by themselves.
This
will allow them to learn from their mistakes and eventually make them more
matured
Wrong verb form
mature
show examples
. Another reason why it is advisable for
students
to stay away from
home
is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they can make more friends. During
university
life, friends will be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important part of their life and by staying away from
home
, more
time
is spent with them.
Besides
that, staying away from
home
can
also
allow them to save more
money
. If they decide to stay on campus,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of
money
can be saved from travelling to and fro the
university
. They
then
can use
this
extra
money
to spend on academic purposes.
Furthermore
, once the
students
move out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the house for their tertiary education, they are forced to be more responsible and manage their
time
well. The
students
have to be plan their
time
and
money
by themselves as their parents will not be around all the
time
to shadow them anymore.
Therefore
, in conclusion, I totally agree that it is better for
students
to live away from
home
as it indirectly prepares them for adulthood.
Submitted by vanajaplanisamy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: