Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time

The most common belief among parents

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

is that

children

leisure

activities

must be educational,

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

they are a complete waste of time. Opposed to that normally accepted point of view, I have to disagree. In my opinion,

leisure

activities

should be enjoyable, rather than serious and dull.

First

of all,

children

should have time for themselves but not for anyone else. It is a basic demand of a human being to be pleased with whatever they do as long as it is still acceptable on a level.

For instance

, playing video

games

. Many parents do not like their kids to interact with that “unreal world”. Yes, there are definitely some certain drawbacks of playing video

games

like overplaying it or getting

abuse

Wrong verb form

abused

show examples

to it; but above that, let’s take a look at the bright side.

Beside

Correct your spelling

Besides

show examples

some violent, horror, obsessive and unhealthy

games

, there are plenty more

games

that contain educational materials in which

children

can learn new knowledge in a more exciting but indirect way.

Secondly

, sometimes

leisure

activities

are not only hobbies but they are the reflection of the

children

’s own personalities. From my observation

upon

Change preposition

show examples

the environment I live in, I have seen many

children

with different favourite

leisure

activities

. Some like football, some like drawing and some like cooking,... There is a huge variety and so is the difference;

therefore

, it is mostly inaccurate to assume that all these

activities

have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

educational purpose on them. But

this

is not about liking something, these

activities

are more than that, they can define

children

’s dreams. A game programmer would only want to become a programmer when they love

games

, and so the footballers, artists, chefs and many more. In conclusion, I think that fathers and mothers should not be too harsh on their

children

by imposing their opinion about doing

leisure

activities

;

instead

, let them freely have their pick of what they want to do because none of those is a waste of time, whether they are educational or not.

Submitted by thumai2905 on Fri Dec 17 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Is some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these points of view and give your own opinion.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Social media has completely changed the way family and friends communicate with each other. What ore the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?