IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

1. With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a nu mber of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

#access #internet #media #websites #children #nu #mber #situations #adults #limit
In
this
 modern epoch, it is an irrefutable fact that the internet and social media play an integrated and indispensable role in a child’s life. A group of people in society opine that parents should restrict their
children
’s hyperspace usage. I firmly agree with
this
 belief and I am going to elaborate my reasons in the following paragraphs. To embark upon, we are living in a technological era where nothing is impossible. One of the cardinal reasons why I support the argument is that most offspring might not have attained emotional maturity to handle risk-prone situations, which they are more likely to get exposed to online.
For instance
, the scion is left unattended at home while their guardians are working outside.
In addition
 to that most heir do not receive friendly parental instructions regarding sage net usage and in absence of
parents
Add a comma
,parents
show examples
 they hardly adhere to those directives
this
 makes them vulnerable to dangerous illegal websites which they might have never expected
children
’s
also
 become victims of online bullying. Which affects their mental health and
for instance
 the recent studies have shown the hindrance in brain development caused by cyberspace.
In addition
 to
this
, there are numerous antisocial elements, whose targets are mainly
children
 they might upsurge the curiosity level among kids by means of virtual games
for example
 the recent game called blue whale caused lots of deaths. Which would have been the case if
children
 were supervised by the parents. To recapitulate it's immensely clear that the internet is a key to opening the doors of immense opportunities for
children
, and in
this
 competitive world, the positive curiosity of the
children
 should not be retarded by means of these types of restrictions.
However
, considering the vulnerability to hollow cost. I do recommend that elderly supervision.
Submitted by Bhavani Viswanathan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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