IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the money spent in developing technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 day and age, there is a common belief that
space
exploration
 invested in
fascilitating
Correct your spelling
facilitating
 technology is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 budget because
this
 money can be invested in other
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 ways. I would firmly agree with
this
 view because it has produced numerous benefits. Admittedly,
space
exploration
 makes a significant contribution to the current modernizing society. The dominant benefit is that
space
exploration
 could save our life.
For instance
, we can find another habitable place to live temporarily while the earth can be on the mend after
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 that humans cause.
However
,
space
exploration
 is exorbitantly expensive, so only a small group of people may afford it.
Thus
, Investing billions of dollars to serve a few people may regard as being wasteful financially.
On the other hand
, there is ample evidence that the latter view should be reasonable.
First
 and foremost, the
overidding
Correct your spelling
overriding
overbidding
 reason would be that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two-
third
 of the world population is still suffering from major problems, including starvation, famine, let alone unemployment.
Hence
, authorities ought to allocate their money to enhance the quality of human life prior to activities, like
space
exploration
.
Furthermore
, another compelling factor is that we should invest in underdeveloped countries, which act as the catalyst for helping several
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
lacked
Wrong verb form
lacking
show examples
 food or medicine.
Therefore
, billions of dollars required for
space
 research programs would benefit millions of people. The conclusion to be drawn is that despite some merits from
space
exploration
, as important as it may seem, I would side with
latter
Add an article
the latter
show examples
 view.
Submitted by star.nguyenhuyhoang.2409 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: