Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods

There is a dramatic change

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how people are living.

The society

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Society

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have

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has

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forgotten the purpose brought about by tradition or sacred festivals.

Hoewever

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However

,during celebration periods,

community

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the community

a community

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currently want to have fun solely.In my view,

this

is a grey area that

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disagree with that

festive

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the festive

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season

have not been put on the front line.

Firstly

festive

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the festive

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season

is a period to enjoy through entertainments,buying and receiving gifts

such

that the society spend funds which were not planned for to make the

season

meaningful.To illustrate more,

peole

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people

travel

long

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a long

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distance

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distances

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to worship together with senior citizens

thereafter

,they go ahead to

slaughtering

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slaughter

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a goat and have some drinks.

For example

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apply

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research done by homecare in 2000 shows that 60% of festivity take place in rural areas.

Therefore

,end of year

celebration

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celebrations

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are imperative in uniting family and every person has a reason to celebrate the

season

Secondly

bad

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the bad

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economic time has facilitated

family

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families

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to utilize the little funds on their small unit.

Inaddition

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In addition

need

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the need

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to cater for basic

need

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needs

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has forced many

parent

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parents

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to be on duty during the period others are having fun.

Moreover

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,Moreover

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technology is very significant in the modern era

such

that they would rather spend the day watching movies than uniting with other people for entertainment.

For example

,in 2021 the star newspapers indicated that 60% of

graduate

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graduates

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spend festivity praying video games.

Therefore

,it is due to many responsibilities that

has

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have

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overtaken the

season

of being together with acquaintances

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apply

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partly. To sum up,holidays are fundamental in the world and meaningful that they create memory due to many activities that take place

however

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,however

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,technology and many

responsibility

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responsibilities

show examples

has

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have

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facilitaed

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facilitated

many to do it on their own.

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Sun Dec 19 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

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