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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. what are the reasons for this and suggest some solutions.

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The word
crime
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 which brings a lot of apprehension with it, is becoming a major threat these days as its rates are on the uphill in most of the cities around the world, particularly among the youth.
While
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,
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 it is important to keep a check on illegal
activities
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.
However
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, in my opinion, it is the complete reformation of today's youth
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instead
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that will effectively solve
this
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 concern of our time. A major reason for the increase in crimes committed by the youth is the depiction of the glorified world of criminals in
movies
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 and television series.
For instance
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, a teenager who in a movie sees the lead actor whom he completely adores, playing the role of a criminal. The adolescent child by seeing that character often gets carried away by the lavishness and dominance of the role and starts to believe the world of
crime
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 to be an area of dominance and control.
Additionally
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, the increase in drug culture frequently portrayed in
movies
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 leads to an increase in illegitimate
activities
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 because to buy expensive drugs, youths often turn to criminal
activities
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.
While
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, it is extremely important to keep
crime
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 under control and to give hard punishments or imprisonments to the criminals,
but
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it is the education of the young minds that will be more rewarding in the long term.
For example
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, the governments should promote health education in schools where all the students should be taught about the harmful nature of drugs.
Moreover
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, the
movies
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 which depict criminal glorification should be censored or not allowed to be shown to young people.
To conclude
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, I believe that in order to curb
down
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illegal
activities
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 among youths, it is important for the government to keep an effective vigilance on the youths. Education and censorship of
crime
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movies
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 are the two ways by which
this
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 problem can be tackled in the near future.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the examples and explanations provided are directly related to the topic.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt, provide specific examples, and develop the ideas fully in order to achieve a higher score in task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surge
  • productive activities
  • quality education
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • economic disparity
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • legitimate means
  • inclusive education
  • mentorship
  • community policing
  • youth engagement
  • early intervention
  • constructive pathways
  • social services
  • at-risk families
  • root causes
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