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Band 6.5

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons is it possitive or negative development?

#people #money #possitive #development
It has been universally accepted that the problem of not saving wealth
instead
 of spending is escalating at an alarming rate. The issue is bringing a state of depression among the masses and in the economy too. There are a plethora of reasons for the same and its possible solutions can be suggested too which are discussed as follows. To start with, In regards to the complication, the major reason which can be stated is the literacy rate in people.Adults don't have enough knowledge about saving their income for certain or bad times. In support of
this
 reason,
moreover
, children commonly save their money for specific occasions or when they have to buy certain objects for themselves. Another problematic cause is costliness in the country.
For instance
, in most developed cities all public hubs and party halls are cheaply available so that they can catch very easily. Because of
this
 leisure day, everyone is removed from their stressful career life and works more productively. On the Other Side, in any Emergency
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
 we do not have any financial backup and we lose something because of the no money. At that moment we understand the importance of saving. And
Also
 our liability increases and income decreases.
Such
 as we cannot predict what will happen in future. if any medical issues happen and at any ,cost we treat that hour with the help of others by lending money. Seeing the problem with a brighter mind, many solutions can be helpful to curb
this
 menace. One of the solutions is to save pocket pay even in lesser amounts after a
while
 I will be increased in the amount and ready for any mishap situation.
Secondly
,some banking networks
also
 provide saving options with little amount of investment and adults can make much after some era period.
Lastly
, saving wealth can be used in future for family belongings or children for their education and lifestyle.As a ,result the amount of debt surged.So we must be aware of the features of saving.
To conclude
, solving a global issue is not easy but with the joint efforts of the people, control can be taken over the complication with the aforementioned suggested measures. I believe that everyone should come forward to mitigate
this
 dispute.
Submitted by hamnafatima535 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a clearer, logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a specific focus and follows logically from the one before. Consider using more varied transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly.
Task Response
Enhance task achievement by ensuring all parts of the question are fully addressed, including an explicit discussion on whether the development is positive or negative.
Task Response
Incorporate more specific, relevant examples to support your main points. Use real-life situations or statistics to make your argument stronger.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • consumer culture
  • financial literacy
  • economic optimism
  • financial instability
  • indebtedness
  • stimulating economic growth
  • personal satisfaction
  • innovation
  • job creation
  • investment
  • wealth accumulation
  • advertising
  • social media
  • luxury lifestyles
  • financial planning
  • future security
  • emergencies
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