Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

Today the
competition
in finding a job between the younger and the older is becoming more popular.
This
essay will
first
discuss the
problems
associated with
this
phenomenon which are health issues and an economic crisis, and
then
suggest the most effective solutions which are handling the depression and providing enough career's opportunities for everyone. One problem related to the higher
competition
is mental health
problems
. Whoever cannot achieve the career
competition
several times feel lost and disappointed. They think that they are not fit in anywhere and look down on themselves.
This
type of
feelings
Fix the agreement mistake
feeling
show examples
make them depressed and those who cannot handle well have to face a depression disorder in the future. Another problem is that the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
unemployment rate leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
terrible economic situation. Without jobs, it is impossible for
people
to earn money.
As a result
, they spend only
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
those fundamental needs.
For example
, in the past two
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
a quarter of new graduates in Bangkok were jobless and
this
led to a significant downward trend in
national
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the national
show examples
economy. The
first
solution is to educate
people
to deal with their sadness. Everyone should accept the fact that even though they give whatever they got, sometimes they cannot get whatever they need. It is normal to be grieving for the failure but you have to handle it because life goes on.
Secondly
, the government should increase career's opportunities for everyone. The more available job's
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
, the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
have to be unemployed.
Therefore
,
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the step
show examples
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
must be taken in order to overcome
this
problem.
For instance
,
last
year when
Korean
Correct article usage
the Korean
show examples
government made a policy to double the number of skilled
labors
Replace the word
labourers
show examples
, the jobless rate fell dramatically. In conclusion,
people
face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
problems
and the economic crisis are the most serious
problems
due to the
competition
of job's seeking, and the essential solutions are to teach them to handle their sadness and provide enough work opportunities.
Submitted by Varaiphand on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Unfulfilling job
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Financial stability
  • Job security
  • Societal norms
  • Career choices
  • Pursuing passion
  • Practicality
  • Personal growth
  • Skill development
  • Self-esteem
  • Social status
  • Work-life balance
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