IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The spread of a ‘global language’ such as English will threaten national languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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These days, communities worldwide communicate with each other using global languages,
such
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 as English and Mandarin. Some
people
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 think that using an international accent in communication will remove the
use
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 of each country's national
language
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. In
this
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 essay, I argue that the existence of a global
language
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 is essential to learning foreign cultures,
although
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 it has the potential to remove the national identity of the country because of the lack of
use
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 of a national
language
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 and
culture
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. One thing to consider when learning and using English or other global languages is that
people
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 can learn about many foreign cultures by connecting with humans from different regions on social media.
For example
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, the population in Indonesia can learn the habits of the population in South Korea by talking with Korean
people
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 on Facebook or Twitter.
As a result
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, knowing more about other cultures will increase tolerance and make
people
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 more comfortable travelling to many places.
On the other hand
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, many believe that the original
culture
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 and habits will be removed if the population uses the global
language
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 because the
use
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 of the original
language
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 will decrease.
For instance
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, communities in India today
use
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 English more than Hindi, which causes the young generation not to know their ancient traditions well because they are written in the traditional
language
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. It seems clear that the more global
culture
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 influences a state, the greater the potential for that land's original
culture
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 to disappear. In conclusion, society should balance the usage of global and national languages to ensure
this
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language
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 is used in the right place and time. As a rule maker, the government can issue regulations about
language
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use
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 across the state so the advantage of learning the global
language
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 will not influence the existence of the national
language
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.

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task achievement
Be sure to directly address the question posed and ensure your opinion on the extent to which you agree or disagree is clear throughout the essay. While you present both sides of the argument, your personal stance could be more explicit.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use connecting words and phrases to better link your ideas and paragraphs. Ensure that transitions between points are smooth and that the reader can easily follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
For cohesion, make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within it directly relate to that idea. Avoid straying from your main points or introducing tangential information.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. Instead of general scenarios, use real-world instances or studies that precisely illustrate the points you're making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lingua franca
  • international communication
  • erode
  • linguistic diversity
  • transmitted
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • diluted
  • dominant
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language policies
  • real-time translation
  • technological advancements
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