IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.

#internet #information
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Due to advancement
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Advancement
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 in
technology
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,technology
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it
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apply
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has changed the way we share and consume
information
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.
This
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 has
also
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 created severe
issue
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issues
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 like
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a breach
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breach
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breaches
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 in users private
data
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 and
also
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 some people are addicted due to
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this
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these
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 new trends,
goverement
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government
 should come up with rules and
regulation
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regulations
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 to overcome
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this problems
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this problem
these problems
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. As
high
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the high
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 amount of
information
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 traffic is flowing through the internet the
data
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 of
user
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the user
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 is at risk, hackers
tries
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try
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of
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to
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 steal
this
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data
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 does not belong to them, it is
individual
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the individual
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 right to have
this
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information
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 stored in
secure
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a secure
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 place.
Also
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,only after their
consent
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,consent
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 the
information
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 should be shared with others. As social media apps like Facebook, Youtube, and Instagram has
stared
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started
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 to produce
contents
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content
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 at
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exponential
exponetial
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an exponetial
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 rate,
this
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 leads to addictive nature in human begin. They start to
loss
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lose
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 focus and their attention span can
also
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 go down.
This
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 nature is somewhat similar to that of a drug or alcohol addict.
Fristly
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Firstly
First
,
goverement
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government
governments
 and big tech companies should come up with
framework
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a framework
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 on how to protect the private
data
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 of their public or customer.They should well define the parameters for user
information
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 sharing, and security
measure
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measures
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 should be
implemeted
Correct your spelling
implemented
 so that it becomes hard for hackers to bypass the systems.
Secondly
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, To overcome the addictive nature of
the
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apply
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social apps should conduct awareness programs in
certian
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certain
interval
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intervals
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 so users can be aware of
this
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 habit.
Moreover
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, app owners should come up with a warning system to let them know that they are using the platforms for a while and what ill effects it can
led
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lead
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 to
in
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apply
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futher
Correct your spelling
further
. To conclude, we should be aware of misuse of internet and how they can be prevented,
also
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 rules should be implemented.
Submitted by surajgadhvi92 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
What to do next:
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