IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

1. With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a nu mber of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

#access #internet #media #websites #children #nu #mber #situations #adults #limit
It is believed that exposure to
internet
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the internet
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 and digital platforms can put the
life
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lives
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 of
children
 at risk.So,it is suggested that parents should allow controlled
access
 to
such
 platforms.I completely agree that young minds are rotted by these booming digital advancements,and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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strategic parental control can reduce the risk.
This
 essay deliberates my viewpoint on how
children
 are vulnerable to the open internet peril, and my considerations on why adults should limit the usage.
First
 of all,
children
 are exposed to
leaf-threatening
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a leaf-threatening
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situation
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situations
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 in front of
internet
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the internet
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giant
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giants
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.It is an undeniable fact that social media is an open gateway for strangers to sneak into childrens’
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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.
For example
, without knowing
real
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the real
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 identity of the online-masked person,
immatured
Correct your spelling
immature
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 kids add them to their
friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
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 list just to increase the number.Evidently,there are many scenarios in
news
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the news
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which
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that
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 warns
the
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of the
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 incidences of
online-stranger
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online stranger
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 abuse.
Additionally
,the media contents are not age-specific as there is no limitation on the information,regardless of any given topic.Kids,especially under-18 are not
matured
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mature
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 enough to perceive
this
 open information which can effectively corrupt the tender minds.Resultingly,the exposed kids, perhaps involve in anti-social behaviour like vaping,consuming alcohol to name a few.But,how do we distance our
children
 from these threats? Adults should take the responsibility of providing limited
access
. The provision of parental
access
 by various apps
serve
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serves
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 the purpose of containing
contents
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content
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 for
age-appropriate
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the age-appropriate
an age-appropriate
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 audience.When elder family members
centrally
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are centrally
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control
Wrong verb form
controlled
show examples
,they can be alerted with the type of website visits and amount of time logged on.
Thus
,any unknown stranger communication can be easily identified.
For instance
,when we turn the parental control on the setting of a desktop or a laptop is kept on,any links to a restricted video would need the permission of
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
 adult at home.So,adult-controlled
access
 is vital. In conclusion,
since
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apply
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 the liberated viewing of digital media sites can dangerously put
children
 at risk.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,it is paramount to limit adult-controlled usage to prevent the hassle of
stranger-danger
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stranger danger
show examples
 and the like.
Submitted by geetha.avsp on

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