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Band 4.5

Some people feel that public money should not be spend on cultural amenities such as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas which are more important for the government to fund?

#people #money #amenities #museums #theatres #art #festivals #society #areas #government #fund
Some people feel that public
money
 should not
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 on cultural amenities
such
 as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are more important for the
government
 to fund? It is considerably accepted that taxpayers
money
 does not need to
disburse
Add a missing verb
be disburse
show examples
 for cultural facilities including museums, theatres or art festivals. It seems advisable as there are several paramount situations
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 be funded by the
government
, which we will criticize now. Possibly, taxpayers
money
 should subsidy for environmental issues
such
 as soil degradation, water and noise
polluion
Correct your spelling
pollution
solution
. All these types of pollutions
exarcebate
Correct your spelling
exacerbate
exacerbated
 human right which is to live in a healthy and safe environment, risking human life. The
second
 most important area is probably small and medium factories. For
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 is located in the crucial status of a country, it is essential that
government
 consistently maintain it.
Finally
, the education sectors had better be supported by public
money
. Everyone’s knowledge consists
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 value of society. As long as wanting to create a bright future, we might focus on education as best as we could. One of the methods to address
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it is the
government
 fund need to reveal to educational parts. For these reasons, I would evaluate cultural
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
 as a fourth
promlem
Correct your spelling
problem
, which is important but does not that much necessary, compared to other crucial sectors of the society for the reasons that we have discussed there. To sum up, it is a sensible conclusion that cultural facilities should be funded by public
money
.
However
, environmental issues, the ever-rising economy and maintaining education sectors appear to be more paramount because these
included
Add a missing verb
are included
show examples
 in
Correct your spelling
concentration
concenration
Correct article usage
the concenration
show examples
 of everyone rather than art festivals.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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