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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that a teacher’s main role in school is to motivate and inspire students. However, others believe that a teacher’s primary role is to pass on knowledge. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #teacher’s #role #school #students
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A group of people proposes that encouraging and inspiring learners is the main motive of the
teachers
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whereas
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 others contend that their predominant
role
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 is to disseminate
knowledge
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. I completely support the former view that
teachers
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 act as
role
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 models for most
students
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. Primarily, the believers in only imparting the
knowledge
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 in the first place, argue that
tutors
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 get salaries to teach the syllabus only to
students
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. When
tutors
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 apply for the selection process, they get recruited because of their
knowledge
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 levels and qualifications.
Therefore
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, the main duty of
tutors
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 is to disseminate
this
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 acquired
knowledge
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.
For example
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, had the
tutors
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 of Saint Xiever Schools in the southern part of India not focused primarily on passing the information related to the syllabus, they would not have got their fixed salaries.
However
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, I believe that the tutor's prime focus should be on the motivation and inspiration of the
students
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 as they are the
role
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 models of many tutees.
Although
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 study is an imperative element in
students
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' lives, they require constant motivation to focus on their studies. Perhaps,
this
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 leads to developing an interest in academics and makes them more determined to learn, following their mentors.
Thus
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,
teachers
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 are the only sources after the parents who can encourage
students
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 to grab the information.
For instance
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, a survey report depicts that
students
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 get motivation and inspiration from their
teachers
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 as they become their ideals. In conclusion,
while
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 many people tend to believe that the main
role
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 of a teacher is to impart
knowledge
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 owing to receive wages for
this
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 work only, in my opinion,
teachers
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 are meant to be the influencers in the
students
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' lives as they are the ideals of the most of their pupils.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you consistently back up your points with relevant examples. For instance, while you mentioned Saint Xiever Schools, elaborating more on how this directly correlates to the main point would be beneficial.
task achievement
Attempt to develop your arguments further to improve clarity and comprehensiveness. Adding a little more depth to your ideas and explanations can make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence, consider using transition sentences to bridge your ideas between paragraphs. This will help readers to follow your thought process more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, try to summarize the key arguments from both views before stating your final opinion. This will make your conclusion more balanced and clear.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in setting the context and summarizing your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You tackled both views and provided arguments for each, which shows a comprehensive approach to addressing the essay topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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