IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think the government should take measures regarding the healthy lifestyles of individuals. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #measures #lifestyles #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In a fast-moving world, numerous people express deep concerns about healthy living. Some hold firmly that the government is responsible for implementing ways to improve people’s well-being.
However
Linking Words
, others argue convincingly that leading a healthy lifestyle is an individual choice. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the latter viewpoint.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are two major aspects for people to defend the view that improving citizens’ quality of life is the responsibility of the authorities.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is a well-documented fact that the government, as an administrative body, can do a lot to improve the health of its citizens.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can enhance people’s awareness through different educational programs. The more people know about the benefits of a balanced diet, as well as physical activity, the more likely they are to build a healthy future generation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the state may build sports facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as fitness centres, swimming pools and more to increase the citizens` motivation to exercise.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are two pieces of evidence in support of the latter argument.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, a person is equally responsible for his or her health. No matter how hard the government tries to promote a healthy lifestyle, it will not succeed if the citizens do not want to follow it. More importantly, no one can comprehend our own life as much as we can and how we often keep healthy on a daily basis.
For instance
Linking Words
, when someone has diseases
such
Linking Words
 as flu, fatigue or even cancer, they can overcome and heal those hurts because they understand what diet or nutrient is the best for their well-being. In conclusion, it is my strong belief that a healthy lifestyle should be a choice of each person.
Submitted by xinh300894 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: