With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered area of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extend do you agree?

#demand #oil #gas #area #world #access #resources

Some people believe that exploration into

unknown

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the unknown

an unknown

show examples

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

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of the earth to discover new energy reserves should be carried to support manufacturing and logistic activities.

This

essay disagrees with the idea because burning gas and oil is detrimental to the natural environment, and the activity of gathering

resources

from untouched

places

is not

cost effective

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cost-effective

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. The

consuming

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consumption

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of fossil fuels should be banned because it damages the earth. Emissions from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

manufacturing and transportation activities create the greenhouse effect that increases the global temperature.

This

can harm agricultural activities which are very sensitive

with

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show examples

weather changes.

For example

, the Vietnam drought, which is currently threatening the country’s agribusiness, due to the

increasing

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increase

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of global temperature is alarming, and after raising

this

issue to the United Nations, many countries

also

agree with the matter,

then

they together come up with a plan to reduce fossil fuels consumption to 0 by

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2050. Another reason why we should not explore the undiscovered area of the world is that the process requires a big investment . Untouched areas are usually deep under the sea or far

way

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away

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in the arctic, and the path of getting to these

places

need special

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

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and expensive

resources

that

sometimes

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are sometimes

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even costlier than materials acquired.

In addition

, human life can

also

be lost in

such

projects since most of the untouched

places

have adverse working conditions.

Therefore

, it is not economical to do

such

discovery

Fix the agreement mistake

discoveries

show examples

for new

resources

. In conclusion, fossil fuels

creates

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create

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detrimental impact

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the natural environment, and it is not

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

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to explore

resources

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

untouched area of the world and I

therefore

Add the comma(s)

,therefore

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, believe that people should not explore

such

unknown

places

Submitted by thaibinh11287 on Wed Dec 22 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered area of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extend do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Too much money is spent in maintaining and repairing old buildings. Some people think that they should be knocked down and give way to the modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The increase in the elderly population makes it difficult for taxpayers. What should be the solution?

Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of poverty in many countries is to set up businesses and improve trade links with rich countries.