Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #face #development

Nowadays the trend of socialising online is increasing day by day. People do not like to meet others in person and prefer meeting online. I strongly believe that

this

is a negative development. There are different problems that can arise from society socialising online.

Firstly

, it can lead to depression. In the name of communication, technology is creating a gap between humans. Meeting online lacks intimacy while meeting someone in person makes the relationship stronger and long-lasting.

Moreover

,Physical proximity relieves stress as whenever one is feeling emotionally down, a warm hug can make them feel better which is not possible online. It is human tendency to have face to face interaction with others, which makes them feel better and cures depression. The

second

negative is that it is risky in terms of security. People make fake identities on social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook and Instagram and trap innocent people.

This

type of cybercrime is most popular in developing countries, where

such

criminals are mostly involved in human trafficking. Cyberbullying is

also

a major issue, as the person on the other side of the screen can misuse one’s chats and bully them. Apart from that hacking personal information

also

puts an individual’s security in danger.

Finally

, there are some health-related drawbacks due to online socialisation. Spending too much time on mobile phones and computers for socialising can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle which causes obesity. Increased screen time is

also

the reason behind poor eyesight ,especially among teenagers. Apart from that it

also

affects the brain capacity to focus and learn new things. In conclusion, I would like to stick to my point of view that online conversations have changed the idea of socialising in a negative manner.

Submitted by veranendang12 on Wed Dec 22 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

288 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Write about the following topic: Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some children spend our celebrity on their smartphones. why is this the cas? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.