IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people nowadays do not feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons and what can be done to solve this problem?

#people #home
Nowadays more and more individuals are feeling the lack of security when they are outside or within their home. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will be discussing the main reasons for
this
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
 and suggest some measurements to deal with
this
 issue.
To begin
 with, the cardinal reason why most
people
 do not feel safe in their house or outside is because of the increase in the
crime
rate
. Many countries especially the developing
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 are facing a rise in criminal activity and
this
 is mainly due to poverty and unemployment.
For instance
, in poor
nations
Add a comma
,nations
show examples
 many
people
 turn to criminal activity
such
 as robbery and home invasion just to survive and support themselves and their families.
Moreover
, due to the increase of contagious
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
such
 as covid 19 which is a fast spreadable disease
people
 are afraid to go outside and catch these infectious diseases.
However
, there are many stapes that could be taken by governments and individuals to solve these problems,
firstly
, governments and local companies should work together and introduce programs that help these individuals to obtain certain skills which later will help them to get a decent job to support themselves,
furthermore
, imposing harsh punishment will lead to
Add an article
a
show examples
decline in
crime
rate
 .
Also
 taking some security measurements
such
 as putting more cameras in public areas and more police patrolling in the streets.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 in
Bulgari
Add a comma
,Bulgari
show examples
 the government have made it mandatory for all shops and restaurant to have security cameras.
As a result
crime
rate
 has decreased. To summarize,
people
 fear and insecurity is justified with reports of
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in
crime
rate
 and infectious diseases.
However
, we can tackle these issues by the measurements that I have mentioned above.
Submitted by ph.amal.just on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: