IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries, it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #alcohol
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Governments around the world have banned alcoholic advertising content.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the idea because drinking can lead to negative
health
Use synonyms
 consequences and adverts may leave a bad impact on people under 18. Alcohol should be banned because it is harmful to a person’s
health
Use synonyms
. A lot of drinking causes serious conditions including liver cancer, diabetes and brain damage.
Thus
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, It puts a huge strain on the medical service and not only causes suffering for patients but
also
Linking Words
 their families.
For example
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, Vietnam has a high level of liver cancer among men who consume too many alcoholic beverages, but after the government restricted companies to promote wine and beer on TV, broadsheets, and tabloids, it results in a huge reduction in
such
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 cases. Another reason why the promotion of alcohol should be stopped is the fact that it creates a negative influence on the young generation. The main goal of these adverts is to get more people to use their products despite how harmful the drink can do to their
health
Use synonyms
. As teenagers log on to the internet, watch TV, or read the news, they might be attracted by alcoholic content which is usually designed in cool, exciting, and exotic ways in order to sway consumers to purchase their products.
For instance
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, Hennessy adverting usually includes scenes of wealthy men and beautiful women drinking cognac in extravagant settings. In conclusion, alcohol is detrimental to people
health
Use synonyms
 and the advertising of alcoholic drinks create a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngster and I,
therefore
Linking Words
, believe that more countries should ban the advertising of liquor.
Submitted by thaibinh11287 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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