In many countries, obesity among children has drastically increased. Parents should be held responsible if their children are obese. What are your views on the subject?

#countries #obesity #children #parents

The number of overweight children has surged vastly in a few nations so

parents

should be held accountable for their

health

. I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

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providing proper nutrition by limiting their fast food intake and including physical activities, families can change their offspring lifestyle which can help to maintain a healthier weight.

Firstly

parents

should take care of their offspring by monitoring their

health

status in relation to weight gain, and encouraging them to partake in sport and exercise. Without any doubt, elders of the family have a great influence on the minds and

health

of the younger ones, and adopting an active lifestyle leads to the fitness of the whole family.

For instance

, when my elder brother goes to play football early in the morning, my nephew follows him and accompany him daily.

Secondly

, in

this

fast-paced corporate culture, there is less or no time for the working

parents

to cook healthy meals at home,

thus

opting for ready-made meals becomes a contributing factor for obesity.

Nevertheless

, heads of the house have to play their role in combating these

health

pandemics,

however

, policymakers

also

need to come with some long-term solutions to alleviate

this

issue. To

further

explain, the administration should frame some laws and regulations for the advertisements of fast food which specifically targets teenagers, who in fact constitute the bulk of the customers at these establishments.

For example

, more than half of the seats at Mac Donald's are occupied by teenagers, despite the food over these places has been proven to be unhealthy. In conclusion, the widespread disease of overweight should be dealt with with the combined efforts of both

parents

at a family level, as well as the

health

ministry of the nation, to counteract the effect of sedentary lifestyle trending in societies.

Submitted by amanasati77 on Thu Dec 23 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, obesity among children has drastically increased. Parents should be held responsible if their children are obese. What are your views on the subject?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Overall, men are more satisfied with local conditions than women.