In many countries, obesity among children has drastically increased. Parents should be held responsible if their children are obese. What are your views on the subject?

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The number of overweight children has surged vastly in a few nations so

parents

Use synonyms

should be held accountable for their

health

Use synonyms

. I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

providing proper nutrition by limiting their fast food intake and including physical activities, families can change their offspring lifestyle which can help to maintain a healthier weight.

Firstly

Linking Words

parents

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should take care of their offspring by monitoring their

health

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status in relation to weight gain, and encouraging them to partake in sport and exercise. Without any doubt, elders of the family have a great influence on the minds and

health

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of the younger ones, and adopting an active lifestyle leads to the fitness of the whole family.

For instance

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, when my elder brother goes to play football early in the morning, my nephew follows him and accompany him daily.

Secondly

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, in

this

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fast-paced corporate culture, there is less or no time for the working

parents

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to cook healthy meals at home,

thus

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opting for ready-made meals becomes a contributing factor for obesity.

Nevertheless

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, heads of the house have to play their role in combating these

health

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pandemics,

however

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, policymakers

also

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need to come with some long-term solutions to alleviate

this

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issue. To

further

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explain, the administration should frame some laws and regulations for the advertisements of fast food which specifically targets teenagers, who in fact constitute the bulk of the customers at these establishments.

For example

Linking Words

, more than half of the seats at Mac Donald's are occupied by teenagers, despite the food over these places has been proven to be unhealthy. In conclusion, the widespread disease of overweight should be dealt with with the combined efforts of both

parents

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at a family level, as well as the

health

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ministry of the nation, to counteract the effect of sedentary lifestyle trending in societies.

amanasati77Thu Dec 23 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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In many countries, obesity among children has drastically increased. Parents should be held responsible if their children are obese. What are your views on the subject?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In major cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a serious problem. How can this problem be tackled? Give reasons and examples from your own experience

Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Every year millions of people around the world suffer from poor health as a result of air pollution. What do you think are the caused of this? What solutions can you suggest?