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Band 7.5

In many countries, obesity among children has drastically increased. Parents should be held responsible if their children are obese. What are your views on the subject?

#countries #obesity #children #parents
The number of overweight children has surged vastly in a few nations so
parents
 should be held accountable for their
health
. I believe that
,
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 providing proper nutrition by limiting their fast food intake and including physical activities, families can change their offspring lifestyle which can help to maintain a healthier weight.
Firstly
,
parents
 should take care of their offspring by monitoring their
health
 status in relation to weight gain, and encouraging them to partake in sport and exercise. Without any doubt, elders of the family have a great influence on the minds and
health
 of the younger ones, and adopting an active lifestyle leads to the fitness of the whole family.
For instance
, when my elder brother goes to play football early in the morning, my nephew follows him and accompany him daily.
Secondly
, in
this
 fast-paced corporate culture, there is less or no time for the working
parents
 to cook healthy meals at home,
thus
 opting for ready-made meals becomes a contributing factor for obesity.
Nevertheless
, heads of the house have to play their role in combating these
health
 pandemics,
however
, policymakers
also
 need to come with some long-term solutions to alleviate
this
 issue. To
further
 explain, the administration should frame some laws and regulations for the advertisements of fast food which specifically targets teenagers, who in fact constitute the bulk of the customers at these establishments.
For example
, more than half of the seats at Mac Donald's are occupied by teenagers, despite the food over these places has been proven to be unhealthy. In conclusion, the widespread disease of overweight should be dealt with with the combined efforts of both
parents
 at a family level, as well as the
health
 ministry of the nation, to counteract the effect of sedentary lifestyle trending in societies.
Submitted by amanasati77 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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