The working week should be shorter and workers should should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree?

It is contended that weekdays should become shorter and weekends should be longer.
While
I acknowledge the importance of rest, I do not reckon that it would be feasible to shorten the working
week
. On the one hand, working a sizable chunk of one’s
week
can bring about various problems on both familial and individual levels.
Firstly
, modern society demands
individuals
to work 5 to 6
days
of the
week
.
This
can deprive them of spending time with their families and heighten their stress levels. Away from their
children
, working parents do not get the much-needed time to spend with their beloved
children
, causing them a sense of guilt and an irreparable gap between
children
and their parents as they grow up.
Secondly
, working long hours, 6
days
a
week
, isolates
individuals
and strips their socialization opportunities away from them.
This
isolation can have detrimental effects on one’s mental health. Chronic depression, social panic, and anxiety.
However
, a shorter working
week
can cause serious problems for both households and society at large. One major reason that necessitates
individuals
to work longer working weeks is the financial needs of their
children
. In order to be able to send
children
to prestigious colleges and universities,
as well as
provide resources for their demanding needs, fathers and mothers are obliged to work most of their time.
Therefore
, shortening
week
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
days
with cut down on
individuals
’ wages and prevent them from feeding their
children
’s needs.
Moreover
, industries’ revenue generation is highly dependent on their workforce.
While
longer weekends might seem appealing to
individuals
,
this
decision would endanger the whole society by paralyzing big companies and factories. By cutting working
days
and adding to the weekend, companies will be forced to reduce their profit margins,
as a result
of which inflation is introduced to make up for the lost revenues. In conclusion,
Although
there is an appeal for a longer weekend from a health and
children rearing
Add a hyphen
children-rearing
show examples
perspective, the
overall
financial needs of families and industries outweigh the former concern.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide specific examples to support your arguments, which can strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more seamlessly to improve coherence.
introduction conclusion
You have a well-organized essay with clear introduction and conclusion.
supported main points
Your main points are well supported, showing clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!