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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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It is contended that weekdays should become shorter and weekends should be longer.
While
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 I acknowledge the importance of rest, I do not reckon that it would be feasible to shorten the working
week
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. On the one hand, working a sizable chunk of one’s
week
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 can bring about various problems on both familial and individual levels.
Firstly
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, modern society demands
individuals
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 to work 5 to 6
days
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 of the
week
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.
This
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 can deprive them of spending time with their families and heighten their stress levels. Away from their
children
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, working parents do not get the much-needed time to spend with their beloved
children
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, causing them a sense of guilt and an irreparable gap between
children
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 and their parents as they grow up.
Secondly
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, working long hours, 6
days
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 a
week
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, isolates
individuals
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 and strips their socialization opportunities away from them.
This
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 isolation can have detrimental effects on one’s mental health. Chronic depression, social panic, and anxiety.
However
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, a shorter working
week
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 can cause serious problems for both households and society at large. One major reason that necessitates
individuals
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 to work longer working weeks is the financial needs of their
children
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. In order to be able to send
children
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 to prestigious colleges and universities,
as well as
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 provide resources for their demanding needs, fathers and mothers are obliged to work most of their time.
Therefore
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, shortening
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week
Correct your spelling
weekdays
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days
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 with cut down on
individuals
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’ wages and prevent them from feeding their
children
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’s needs.
Moreover
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, industries’ revenue generation is highly dependent on their workforce.
While
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 longer weekends might seem appealing to
individuals
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,
this
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 decision would endanger the whole society by paralyzing big companies and factories. By cutting working
days
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 and adding to the weekend, companies will be forced to reduce their profit margins,
as a result
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 of which inflation is introduced to make up for the lost revenues. In conclusion,
Although
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 there is an appeal for a longer weekend from a health and
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children rearing
Add a hyphen
children-rearing
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 perspective, the
overall
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 financial needs of families and industries outweigh the former concern.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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introduction conclusion
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supported main points
Your main points are well supported, showing clear understanding of the topic.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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