Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

In recent years, the question of whether parents should
discipline
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their
children
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through physical
punishment
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has been widely debated. Whilst some contend that corporal
punishment
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is unacceptable, others believe that it is the only effective method to
discipline
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children
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.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I support the former viewpoint. On the one hand, I agree with those who advocate that using physical force to correct a child's behaviour is completely objectionable. Corporal
punishment
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is more likely to cause harm than good, as a child who is subjected to physical
punishment
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repeatedly may develop low self-esteem, aggression, and anxiety.
For example
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, a 2023 study in the United States showed that 76% of young people exposed to violent disciplinary practices displayed behavioural problems rather than improved compliance.
Moreover
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, non-violent alternatives, including time-outs, withdrawal of privileges, and positive reinforcement, are more effective at correcting
children
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's behaviour
while
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preserving their dignity.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that using corporal
punishment
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can raise a well-mannered generation. They point out that the older generations are well-behaved because they experienced physical
discipline
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, and that
this
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made
children
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fear the consequences of misbehaviour.
For instance
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, in Saudi Arabia, a significant portion of elderly citizens believe in the effectiveness of violent methods,
such
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as spanking, hitting, or kicking, to adjust the child's attitude by instilling fear.
However
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, even if violent
discipline
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sometimes produces short-term compliance, it often does so at the expense of
children
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's psychological well-being.
To conclude
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,
although
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physical force may change
children
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's behaviour in the short term, I firmly believe that it is counterproductive because it causes emotional and psychological harm. Non-aggressive methods should be implemented to raise
children
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who are not only respectful but
also
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emotionally healthy and resilient.

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task response
Task response: You show a clear view and give both sides. To improve, state your own view more clearly in the intro and link each idea directly to the task question. Include more detail that shows why your view is right.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your plan is good and you use linking words (On the one hand, On the other hand, To conclude). Keep each paragraph to one main idea and use short, simple sentences to keep the flow easy to follow.
strength
Clear and steady position throughout the essay
strength
Good use of sign posts: On the one hand, On the other hand, To conclude
strength
Reasoning is clear and supported by examples
strength
Structure with intro, body and conclusion
strength
Conclusion restates view and ends the essay well
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