The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government

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It is sometimes argued that the government should spend money to prevent

health

Use synonyms

issues because it is more crucial than developing a treatment for disease and medication. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

idea,

besides

Linking Words

that, we must live a healthy lifestyle and be cautious of our daily living. It will be discussed in the following paragraph.

To begin

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with, some benefits of spending funds to prevent

health

Use synonyms

problems.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, when there is a forecast of an epidemic, prevention is a good measure, inexpensive and more effective.

For example

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people

Use synonyms

who are injected with a vaccine for coronavirus with the support of the government rarely get sick by COVID 19, so that they do not need to pay for medical treatment.

Moreover

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prevention

Correct article usage

the prevention

show examples

disease

Change preposition

of disease

show examples

could help human well-being.

For instance

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, after a patient who has been affected by

disease

Add an article

the disease

show examples

may get severe damage to their lungs, heart and nervous system in some

people

Use synonyms

also

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of concern.

In addition

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, prevention is the best way to reduce the spread and increase the severity in the community.

Furthermore

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, offering more free

health

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-check points in the hospitals can encourage

people

Use synonyms

to check their

health

Use synonyms

more frequently, which helps identify the serious

health

Use synonyms

problems since the early periods.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, citizens should approach

health

Use synonyms

care

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

daily basics to enhance their Immune

System

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

First

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of all,

people

Use synonyms

should have a balanced lifestyle for human well-being,

such

Linking Words

as they should have a good diet and healthy activities.

For example

Linking Words

, good meals are needed to be prepared with enough nutrients, daily exercise, and keep

balance

Add an article

a balance

the balance

show examples

between working and relaxing. Humans should be aware of the cautions of illness in their daily living, so that could help them to prevent their sickness. To sum up,

health

Use synonyms

problems will be better prevented by the good funding of the government policy and awareness of citizens, and the healthy communities are built by

this

Linking Words

affection.

Submitted by xinh300894 on Thu Dec 23 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.