It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Some argue that

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it is necessary for individuals to take

risks

in their working and personal lives.

Although

taking

risks

might not be a good choice to take, I believe that it helps

people

to learn from their mistakes and to be successful. Taking

risks

may cause

people

to sacrifice something they value.

Therefore

, a lot of

people

tend to spend most of their lives in a toxic relationship or working in a job they do not feel comfortable in, because they are afraid that, they might fail to find better opportunities.

For example

, many

people

in the USA work in jobs they do not like because they think if they quit their jobs, they will not be able to find another one.

Although

this

decision makes

people

feel scared, I believe that it is stopping

people

from being successful. Deciding to experience the unknown helps

people

to get out of their comfort zone and become successful. When

people

try new occupations or enter new relationships, they may succeed in finding the job they dream about or meeting the person whom they feel happy with.

Therefore

, it is important for

people

to change their decisions sometimes, or they will end up failing in certain aspects of their lives, because of their lack of experience.

For instance

, the majority of businessmen in China were working with low salaries, but their decision to change helped them build their own businesses In conclusion, despite the feeling of safety that

people

feel when they are in their comfort zones, taking

risks

helps them to find their way to fulfilment.

Submitted by sam on Tue Aug 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider providing smoother transitions between paragraphs for a more seamless flow of ideas.

task achievement

Try to elaborate a bit more on the points raised in your supporting paragraphs for a more comprehensive discussion.

coherence cohesion

The essay possesses a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for the discussion.

task achievement

The topic is addressed comprehensively, and the primary arguments are well-supported with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the past, people ate local food in season. Nowadays, people buy a variety of foods from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries should not employ skilled labor from poor countries,as poor countries need the workers were. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the environment becomes polluted the causes is garbage. Which do you think has an important role to play in solving this problem, is the government or society? Give your opinion and example.

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?