It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Some argue that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it is necessary for individuals to take

risks

in their working and personal lives.

Although

taking

risks

might not be a good choice to take, I believe that it helps

people

to learn from their mistakes and to be successful. Taking

risks

may cause

people

to sacrifice something they value.

Therefore

, a lot of

people

tend to spend most of their lives in a toxic relationship or working in a job they do not feel comfortable in, because they are afraid that, they might fail to find better opportunities.

For example

, many

people

in the USA work in jobs they do not like because they think if they quit their jobs, they will not be able to find another one.

Although

this

decision makes

people

feel scared, I believe that it is stopping

people

from being successful. Deciding to experience the unknown helps

people

to get out of their comfort zone and become successful. When

people

try new occupations or enter new relationships, they may succeed in finding the job they dream about or meeting the person whom they feel happy with.

Therefore

, it is important for

people

to change their decisions sometimes, or they will end up failing in certain aspects of their lives, because of their lack of experience.

For instance

, the majority of businessmen in China were working with low salaries, but their decision to change helped them build their own businesses In conclusion, despite the feeling of safety that

people

feel when they are in their comfort zones, taking

risks

helps them to find their way to fulfilment.

Submitted by sam on Tue Aug 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Consider providing smoother transitions between paragraphs for a more seamless flow of ideas.

task achievement

Try to elaborate a bit more on the points raised in your supporting paragraphs for a more comprehensive discussion.

coherence cohesion

The essay possesses a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for the discussion.

task achievement

The topic is addressed comprehensively, and the primary arguments are well-supported with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The use of social media e.g facebook and twitter is replacing face to face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
It is clear that the use of social media forums like facebook and twitter is taking over physical contact for majority of the population in daily life. This essay will argue that the merits of this outweigh the demerits. It will further demonstrate that, connecting through the internet saves time and improves social network although it can lead to untrue picture of real content.
5
band
As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Overall, I agree with the statement that the internet is dominating the world, and because of its convenience and accessibility people prefer the internet to watch the news instead of newspapers these days.
7
band
Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Opinion on career satisfaction is largely divided when it comes to whether or not people should choose a consistent profession. While the idea of changing occupations frequently is reasonable to some extent, I am more convinced by working for a job for the long term.
7.5
band
Shopping online is getting more and more popular in recent years. E-commerce becomes one of the most vibrant industries that represent for new ear of technology. In this essay, drawbacks and benefits of shopping online will be discussed in further details.
In the contemporary world, technology has infiltrated almost all aspects of our lives, significantly reshaping the shopping experience through practising multitudinous online marketing strategies. It is my contention that while this phenomenon offers unparalleled flexibility and convenience for consumers, certain lenses are proven to fall short of complying with reliability and health effects on humans.
4
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
From my opinion , emphasizing businesses’s products are new in some ways is something they should do . They emphasize their products are new to compete against other businesses . As you know , there are many companies develop the same product together . So emphasizing helps them to show off the invidual superiority . Customers will get attrarted by these and help they make sales . This keeps market economy more competitive and also helps the country’s economy develop more . For example , Amazon has built a set of scalable and repeatable processes, coordinated with 14 leadership principles that the company implements every day from brainstorming ideas for new projects to approaching solutions.Amazon’s most important leadership principle is to focus exclusively on the customer . Now Amazon is the largest e-commerce website in the world of . But everything has a downside . To prove that their products is better , some companies often make some claim are not entirely true . Airbone me...

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of social media e.g facebook and twitter is replacing face to face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Shopping online is getting more and more popular in recent years. E-commerce becomes one of the most vibrant industries that represent for new ear of technology. In this essay, drawbacks and benefits of shopping online will be discussed in further details.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?