Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment

Some

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

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supposed that it is most significant for

government

Add an article

the government

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to use people’s money on supporting

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

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lifestyle in order to get ahead of disease than to spend that on the treatment of humans who are still sick . In my

opinion

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,opinion

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both statements are true but it depends on people’s opinion. We have to warn people about illnesses. In

this

case

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,case

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government has to spend money on public announcements. How we can protect ourselves from a disease that we don’t know what is

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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? Relevant people have to educate us .

For instance

, the community must know that smoking, alcohol or other addictions how to affect them , what is the bad sides of

this

lifestyle. All humans regardless of their choices should live a quality life. Good

lifestlye

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

prevents most dangerous illnesses. So if you choose healthy life of course at the end of the day you will be satisfied and thankful. But,

otherwise

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,otherwise

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the government have to take responsibility

Change preposition

for

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patients. Some sick people need good care, medicines etc. They must provide them with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality maintenance. Due to some sickness is not in our hands. In conclusion

Add a comma

show examples

I agree with the

first

statement but the

second

one is

also

true for me.

Submitted by nnovar4321 on Fri Dec 24 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

206 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
healthy lifestyle
prevent
illness
treatment
public money
government expenditure
reduce
burden
healthcare system
preventive measures
improve
well-being
invest
long-term benefits
society
necessary care
balance
address
effectively

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Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

With the scale of globalisation today, it would be of unquestionable benefit to have a single world currency. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

In some places old age is valued. While other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.