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Band 3.5

Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment
Some
society
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societies
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 supposed that it is most significant for
government
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the government
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 to use people’s money on supporting
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle in order to get ahead of disease than to spend that on the treatment of humans who are still sick . In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 both statements are true but it depends on people’s opinion. We have to warn people about illnesses. In
this
case
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,case
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 government has to spend money on public announcements. How we can protect ourselves from a disease that we don’t know what is
it
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apply
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? Relevant people have to educate us .
For instance
, the community must know that smoking, alcohol or other addictions how to affect them , what is the bad sides of
this
 lifestyle. All humans regardless of their choices should live a quality life. Good
lifestlye
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 prevents most dangerous illnesses. So if you choose healthy life of course at the end of the day you will be satisfied and thankful. But,
otherwise
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,otherwise
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 the government have to take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
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 patients. Some sick people need good care, medicines etc. They must provide them with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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quality maintenance. Due to some sickness is not in our hands. In conclusion
Add a comma
,
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I agree with the
first
 statement but the
second
 one is
also
 true for me.
Submitted by nnovar4321 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • healthy lifestyle
  • prevent
  • illness
  • treatment
  • public money
  • government expenditure
  • reduce
  • burden
  • healthcare system
  • preventive measures
  • improve
  • well-being
  • invest
  • long-term benefits
  • society
  • necessary care
  • balance
  • address
  • effectively
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