IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the past when students did a university degree they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development

#students #university #study #country #opportunities #development
Recently,
students
 prefer to go
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
countries
 for academic
study
 but in the
past
Add a comma
,past
show examples
 they used to graduate from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 country.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will talk about the benefits and drawbacks of
this
 condition.
Studing
Correct your spelling
Studying
Standing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad increased in
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
century
Fix the agreement mistake
centuries
show examples
 because of advertisements
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 international universities perform
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the media platforms.
For instance
,UBC in Canada
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
 parents and
students
 to come there because they have
opropriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 job opportunities after graduation.
Students
 peers talk about these things and want to
be assure
Change the verb form
be assured
show examples
 of their future,
consequently
,prefer to go
Canada
Change preposition
to Canada
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
 and
then
 working there. The other advantage is about
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
 quality of life in host
countries
.Most of the
countries
 which accept these
students
 prepare heather lifestyle and safe place for their
students
as a result
 ,parents try to send their children to these places in the other words,with increasing criminal issues and wars in underdeveloped
countries
 the children's guardian try to help
students
 go to more secure lands.
On the other hand
 ,with
immigration
Add an article
the immigration
show examples
 of
students
 for
study
 ,their own
countries
 will be in trouble without
proffetional
Correct your spelling
professional
 citizens
additionally
,they will be
lake
Add an article
a lake
the lake
show examples
 of new
thechnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 in the future.The other disadvantage is
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 amount of money that exist from these
countries
 in order to educate people who probably do not back to their home
countries
. In conclusion,people go for
study
 abroad for many reasons and most of them get benefits of that but it has
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
show examples
 effect for the community.They will
be engage
Change the verb form
be engaged
be engaging
show examples
 in some problems
such
 as
Add an article
the lake
show examples
lake
Correct your spelling
lack
show examples
 of
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 citizens .
This
 is an important problem in some areas which the government should be aware
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
 prevent that in some ways.
Submitted by rezakiannejad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: