IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Old Towns and Cities The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

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There is no denying the fact that various towns and
cities
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 that were built in the past do not reach the standards for nowadays life.
However
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,
this
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 essay will discuss the causes,
such
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 as the significant increase in the population.
Moreover
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, the essay will suggest solutions for
this
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 problem.
For instance
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, improvement of the towns and
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cities'sinfrastructure
Correct your spelling
cities infrastructure
. To start with the causes, modern life demands huge expansion in roads and facilities as the population is growing rapidly, and
such
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cities
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 can't accommodate the elevated number of people.
In addition
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, in the past decades, life was much easier where multiple residential
buildings
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, simple supermarkets, and small hospitals were enough to provide the people of the town with what they needed.
Whereas
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, now things become more different as
cities
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 should have more facilities like multiple hospitals, modern schools, universities, malls, and offices.
Furthermore
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, the materials that these old
buildings
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 were built with were in the past time the best materials, but now there are materials that are superior to them, as they withstand bad weather and earthquakes.
Therefore
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, solutions to
such
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 a problem are to improve the town's infrastructure by building more households and residential complexes, expanding roads and constructing new bridges to reduce the congestion in the original roads.
Furthermore
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, demolish old
buildings
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 and replace them with more robust
buildings
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 that can withstand strong wind or can have more safety measures, especially during fire, as old
buildings
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 did not provide
such
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 measures. In conclusion, improvement and enhancement should be done in each city to suit the present demand of the population, as people now cannot live in the towns that were built in
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
centurie
Correct your spelling
centuries

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Task Response
While you have effectively addressed the main issues regarding old cities not meeting modern standards and provided solutions, consider including more specific examples to enhance your arguments. For instance, mentioning particular cities facing these issues could strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. However, make sure to proofread for any minor grammatical inaccuracies, like the incorrect possessive form in "cities's infrastructure."
Task Response
The essay effectively discusses both problems and solutions regarding old towns not fitting modern standards. This balanced approach helps in achieving a comprehensive response to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of cohesive devices and logical flow makes the essay easy to follow and understand.
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