Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is an ongoing debate on the impact of a competitive sport on
children
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. Where some believe that it is essential to include competitive
sports
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as a part of formal
education
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.
While
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others firmly believe that the inclusion of
such
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sports
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might have a negative impact on
children
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. I advocate for competitive
sports
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, as I believe it is important for
children
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to learn the importance of physical exercise and explore it as a possible career option. Those who support the inclusion of competitive
sports
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are those parents who want to ensure the all-round development of their
children
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. Theoretical knowledge is crucial for the growth of intellectual capacity
similarly
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,
sports
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are significant for the growth of physical strength.
According to
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a survey by Harvard University, it has been observed that many adults complain that their formal
education
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never taught them about physical exercise, which would have taught them the importance of fitness.
Furthermore
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, by teaching competitive sport to the students a school can provide opportunities for individuals to explore it as a career opportunity.
Thus
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, competitive
sports
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are essential for
children
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's well-rounded
education
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.
Conversely
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, some parents believe that including competitive
sports
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in a curriculum might have negative impacts as it might foster a competitive mindset.
In other words
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, students would learn to compete with their peers rather than collaborate with their peers.
As a result
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, they might not focus on improving themselves to become a better version of their former selves.
This
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could negatively impact their mindset, as competing with others, might result in comparing themselves with others, leading to insecurity. Which would
then
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cause stress, anxiety and unfulfillment. In conclusion, the advantages of including competitive
sports
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as part of academic training outweigh the disadvantages. By including competitive
sports
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in formal
education
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,
children
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gain the opportunity to learn the importance of physical exercise and explore it as a possible career option.
Thus
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, the inclusion of competitive
sports
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is significant for
children
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's well-rounded
education
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to refine sentence structures to improve clarity. Some sentences could be more concise and easier to follow.
task achievement
Consider incorporating more specific examples or studies to support your points, enhancing the strength of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, aiding the reader's understanding of how the points relate to your overall argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion in favor of competitive sports, demonstrating a well-defined stance.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the debate, providing a succinct overview of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Teamwork
  • Cooperation
  • Communication skills
  • Physical fitness
  • Obesity
  • Discipline
  • Time management
  • Confidence
  • Resilience
  • Anxiety
  • Burnout
  • Mental health
  • Risk of injury
  • Safety measures
  • Academic responsibilities
  • Participation
  • Unhealthy rivalries
  • Aggression
  • Sportsmanship
  • Jealousy
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