some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. others,however, believe that school is the place to learn this . discuss both views and give your opinion .

Many
people
believe that
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
should teach the
children
to be a great
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
however
, others think it is the
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
responsibility to teach their
children
social
manners
. In my opinion, I believe that
parents
should take fully responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
matter as
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
principle
Correct your spelling
principal
show examples
is
education
. Nowadays, most
children
are
concerntrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
concentrated
of study, which higher
education
could bring them
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
a bright future. Many students are studying very hard every day and they
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
not have time to learn
social
Change preposition
about social
show examples
life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
parents
think well
education
could let the kids
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
live better after they left
school
.
For instance
, some teenagers are so rude
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
others in the community, and they
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
not have any common
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
of social life,
by
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
people
graduated from University and work as a
profestional
Correct your spelling
professional
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, but with no care and
manners
with elderly
people
, because they did not learn any of these at
school
. Teaching
children
individual
manners
, ability, and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
are
parents
Correct article usage
the parents
show examples
job, which
parents
have more social time with their kids.
For example
, if a mother
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
their kids to the supermarket and they see
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
people
carry
Wrong verb form
carrying
show examples
lots of stuff. So, the mum should help tell her son/
daugher
Correct your spelling
daughter
to help the elderly
person
.
Therefore
, the
children
can learn to be a carer
person
in the
comminity
Correct your spelling
community
and help each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
when it
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
. In summary, I strongly agree
parents
should take fully responsible for
children
social life
manners
, ability and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Eventually,
school
teachers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
other enormous task
Change the wording
another enormous task
other enormous tasks
show examples
, which they need to teach
children
to learn all
education
subjects to help them for the future occupation and the country
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
Submitted by junechan822 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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