IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

General Training Writing Task 1 Your loval hospital has advertised for people to do unpaid work for helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter: - Explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital - say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do - give detais of when you would be availble for this work. Write at least 150 words

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in response to the job offer as a volunteer published
last
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 week
on
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in
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 the local newspaper "Buenos Aires News". I have been looking for
making
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apply
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this
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 experience for a
while
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, and the chance to work at a public institution like yours is the one that appeals to me the most.
This
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 is because I firmly
belive
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believe
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 that
this
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 would be a way to
retribuite
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retribute
 to
the
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apply
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society the unique
opportuinity
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opportunity
 that I got of studying for free at
the
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a
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 public University. Regarding which are the areas where I could
contribuite
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contribute
 the most, I consider I could
develope
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develop
 myself in any area related to administrative tasks,
due to
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 the fact that I graduated from a business school.
Nonetheless
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, I would be more than happy
than
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to
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 assist the organization in any department where my services could be required. As for my availability, I can do night shifts from 7 pm to 8 am, because I work for a multinational enterprise as
executive
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an executive
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 from
monday
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Monday
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 to
friday
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Friday
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.
In addition
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, if necessary, I could arrange my schedule in order to have some weekends free. In
this
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 case, I could make
exteded-hours
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extended-hours
 shifts during the day. Please, feel free to contact me in case my profile suits
with
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apply
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the person you are thinking of for the post. Regards, Sonia Matt

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What works well

4
task achievement

Clear articulation of interest in unpaid work and its significance to you, ensuring task completion.

task achievement

Polite and appropriate tone throughout, enhancing task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Proper use of paragraphs for different points of discussion, aiding cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Effective opening and closing, establishing a connection with the readers.

Improvement Suggestions

2
task achievement

Clarify the connection between your motivation and the type of unpaid work you're interested in to enhance task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Ensure there is a logical progression of ideas, such as effectively linking your educational background to administrative tasks.

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