IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People are becoming famous with the help of TV programmes and the internet. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#people #help #tv #programmes #internet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Without a doubt,
people
Use synonyms
 become famous via
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
Use synonyms
 and TV and other social media programmes. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
this
Linking Words
 trend has positive effects, while others believe
conversely
Linking Words
. In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
 I will attempt to describe both opinions and present my perspective. To commence with, every
people
Use synonyms
 use the
internet
Use synonyms
 and TV programmes to communicate and to develop.
Therefore
Linking Words
, nowadays it is easier
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 famous
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
such
Linking Words
 programmes.
People
Use synonyms
 show their unique skills
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 and common
people
Use synonyms
 can estimate, choice and appreciate them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not go to the
tournirs
Correct your spelling
tourist
 or festivals to show their skills and spend time, money and become
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 and nervous. They can share their talents
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as Justin Bieber.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is not enough to have uniqueness and even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age can not influence to be recognisable.
However
Linking Words
, some part of
people
Use synonyms
 do not have uniqueness or special skills, and they attract
people
Use synonyms
 with their nomad body, bad habits or criminals, even they are ready to kill someone.
This
Linking Words
 trend influence
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
Use synonyms
, especially
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
, because they can not think
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
 mature
people
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 to be famous is very hard in the contemporary world. A lot of famous
people
Use synonyms
 can not save their
frivate
Correct your spelling
private
 life. They should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
demonstrate everything of their life to keep their position to be
recognisab
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognisable
;e. To conclude I adhere
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 opinion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it
is badly influence
Change the verb form
is badly influenced
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation and it is become addicted to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 famous.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: