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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some, countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. Discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university
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In many countries, to develop a sense of independence,
children
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 are being motivated to spend a year working or travelling before commencing their professional
studies
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. While there are several positives and negative sides of
this
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 approach which will be discussed below. On the one hand, the main advantage of working after completing high school is that it develops a sense of stability in youngsters.
Also
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, they become financially independent when starting earning,
consequently
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, they will learn to manage their finances and ability to pay their academic fees later on.
Furthermore
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, if
children
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 travel to other countries they will be able to learn new culture and get familiar with a multicultural environment, as
this
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 will help them in a professional institution where they will meet people of different nationalities.
For example
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, In Germany,
children
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 learn different languages to mix up with their friends and feel comfortable during
studies
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.
On the contrary
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, there are several drawbacks and the main downside is that
children
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 enjoy perks of financial independence,
as a result
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, they change their minds and discontinue their plan of
further
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studies
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.
Additionally
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, after completing their high school kids minds are more competent and ready to accept challenges thrown by higher
studies
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; whereas a gap during their
studies
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 can demotivate and they will find their interest in different leisure activities. As seen in the US, 80% of youth do part-time jobs after completing school and never return to universities to complete their higher education. To sum up, I agree that
children
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 should get offered some activities other than
studies
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;
however
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, a long gap between
studies
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 may divert their focus from their main goal. Parents should keep a strict check on their
children
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 if allowing them to work or travel, as well as keep reminding them about the importance of professional
studies
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.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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