IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
Nowadays, it is commonly believed that offenders ought to be utilized in community services
instead
 of they
are sentenced
Change the verb form
have sentenced
show examples
 the imprisonment. In my own perspective,
this
 phenomenon may be used by top-tier government municipalities because they reintegrate these people back into society.
However
,
this
 implementation may pose a threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of society because of repeated
criminals
. On the one hand,
criminals
 who
are sentenced
Change the verb form
have sentenced
show examples
 the minor offences
such
 as shoplifting, traffic offence, pickpocketing can be worked in a
free way
Correct your spelling
freeway
show examples
 in community services. In fact,
this
 situation
assist
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assists
show examples
 them to reintegrate back into
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
 and
adjust
Wrong verb form
adjusting
show examples
 their psychologies. Because in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 tasks, they can have opportunities to
grasped
Change the form of the verb
grasp
show examples
 the importance of
moral-responsibility
Correct your spelling
moral responsibility
show examples
. England and Wales are
unparalleled
Add an article
an unparalleled
the unparalleled
show examples
example
Change the noun form
examples
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 complication. In recent years in these couple countries, the vast majority of sentences are non-custodial.
Thus
, thanks to
this
 opportunity a plethora of offenders have been properly reintegrated back
society
Change preposition
into society
show examples
.
Nonetheless
, serious
criminals
such
 as murderers who were
serve
Wrong verb form
served
show examples
 a prison sentence for premeditated murder, human
trafficers
Correct your spelling
traffickers
 can pose a danger for folk if they achieve
escaping
Replace the word
escape
show examples
 under the observation.
In particular
, repeated
criminals
 or serial
criminals
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are improbable to rehabilitate themselves may be continued break the laws.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 Anar Mammadov who is Azerbaijanian serial
criminals
Fix the agreement mistake
criminal
show examples
 killed a young girl after
release
Correct pronoun usage
her release
show examples
 on parole because she cry at the tram.
Hence
, as
this
 example demonstrate
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
criminals
 are imposed community services may be hazardous for other people. To
Correct your spelling
summarise
show examples
summerize
Correct your spelling
summarize
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,
although
 I agree non-custodial sentences are
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
 application,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should not be valid villain
criminals
 due to life of other people.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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