IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Why local people do not visit the historical site and museums. Discuss the reasons and give a solution to this problem.

#people #visit #site #museums
After the massive innovation in all technological aspects ,especially social media and many applications have appeared nowadays , so from its demerits made a lack of culture and
knowldege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 for nations and a plethora of
people
 do not keen to
visit
 the
historcial
Correct your spelling
historical
places
. In the coming few paragraphs the
mjor
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major
 causes and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 solutions will be
disscussed
Correct your spelling
discussed
 clearly.
First
 of all, the high progress in telecommunication methods made civilians not have to
visit
 any old
places
 as the information has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 to find through the internet.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 there
were
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was
show examples
 a myriad of movies which
talking
Wrong verb form
talked
show examples
 about interesting events and
places
.
For instance
,
documentry
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documentary
 movies
such
 as saving private Rayan ,Valkyrie and World War 2
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all describe the important events and
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
 in
detailed
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detail
show examples
.What can be said
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 we do not have to go far to
visit
 museums or any old
places
 as we can watch it or get through it by Internet or Television
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
On the other hand
, Governments should enhance local
people
's
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about the importance of visiting museums.
Moreover
,parents and teachers must teach the youth how to enhance
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 general information. As well as,
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
famously
people
 should make
advertisments
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advertisements
 about
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 country's historical
places
 to encourage
thier
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their
the
 nation to
visit
 it .
For example
,
Correct your spelling
schools
show examples
shools
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schools
show examples
 must make free trips to famous historical sites in order to make our
childern
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children
 and teenagers know about the
vlue
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value
 of
thier
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their
 nation's history.
Also
,governments should make offers for local
people
 to
visit
 old
places
. In conclusion,visiting museums and historical sites is a major activity for
strenghthen
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 our mentality and to learn from the old nations how
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 they think?.
Submitted by mohamed_eltabey95 on

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