IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Communication and Personality Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

While
Linking Words
 a person might not have an excellent result in his education, he may succeed in his
living
Check wording
career
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay talks about the reason behind the circumstance and
also
Linking Words
discuss
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
show examples
 the key elements of a successful
life
Use synonyms
.  One reason to explain the topic is that it is not accurate to evaluate a person's achievement in
life
Use synonyms
 by relying on an academic result.
While
Linking Words
 a college may provide basic knowledge of many subjects, it does not teach students with soft skills and hands-on experiences
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are crucial for
archiving
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
 goals and winning deals in a
real-
Check wording
real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
's business context.
Consequently
Linking Words
, most students will have to work hard and learn new abilities to be able to advance after school.
For example
Linking Words
, as a lawyer, they understand that education provided in school is just a foundation for their future
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 later on, they have to extend their network, take exams to enter the bar
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 be successful in their law practice. Some people
emphasize
Use the right word
emphasise
show examples
 that in order to be successful in
life
Use synonyms
, one
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to understand what
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
.
Verb problem
is.
show examples
 It is believed that
success
Use synonyms
 requires the satisfaction of
one-self
Use the right word
oneself
show examples
 about their well-being.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, health, job satisfaction, relationship and spiritual achievement are all accountable for a person's achievement.
For example
Linking Words
, a monk can describe his
life
Use synonyms
 as a
success
Use synonyms
 as he can have just enough food to nurture his health, know that his destiny is to follow the way of Buddhism, be able to create a deep relationship with his spiritual
life
Use synonyms
 and give love to people by guiding them to the right path of living. In conclusion, the proven academic result is not the key to
success
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the most important of being successful is to understand the meaning of
success
Use synonyms
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 good health, job satisfaction, healthy relationships, and spiritual achievements.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main ideas in each paragraph and try to elaborate more on them.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
positive note
Your introduction and conclusion clearly address the topic.
positive note
You provided interesting examples to support your points, like the lawyer and the monk.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: