IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Young people today are often less polite and show less respect than previous generations. Why do you think this is? What can be done to solve this problem?

#people #show #respect #generations
It is an irrefutable fact that
people
 who are born in
this
 generation are a lot less polite. Arbeit most of Gen Z is not polite, the other portion of
people
 are polite.
This
 varies for many reasons. These reasons have corrupted the human mind into making
people
 a lot less responsible and kind.
First
 and foremost is electronic devices. Due to the innovation and invention of electronic devices
such
 as phones and computers, the youth is able to access negative and derogatory statements or tweets on platforms like Instagram or Twitter. These statements or messages can easily brainwash the gullible and naive youth making them believe incorrect things.
Secondly
, is social life.
This
 is sort of an aspect of the
first
 reason because it
also
 includes the fact that electronic widgets have brainwashed society and how the youth is glued to their phones. When someone gets “glued” to their widgets, they are not social and do not try and get along with the community. Needless to say, children now consider their online friends as more important than their real-life friends.
Finally
, racism and discrimination. The
people
 that were born into Gen Z are most racist and discriminate against certain and specific races, religions, etc. They become a lot less polite, specifically to the races they hate and the races they think are ruining the world. An example of severe racism in Hitler’s reign was when he committed the Holocaust because he believe that the Jews were the reason that the taxes were too high and that they committed half the crimes. To recapitulate, I would fix
this
 global issue by simply educating children about manners, putting limits on their devices, and assigning them to clubs where they can meet and talk to
people
 who want to form a friendly relationship.
Then
 everyone would see how
people
 become more respective and polite.
Submitted by sargsyan_armine on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: